My daughter doesn't want me at the birth of her child

Jana - posted on 06/20/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )




my daughter informed me on Mother's Day I would get a text like everyone else about the birth of her daughter. She said she wants it to be private but is having a photographer. Am I wrong I being so hurt?


Duse1 - posted on 06/23/2015




Jana I wanted to ask, does your statement mean, that you should not be at the Hospital at all. we could have got this all wrong. and she told you this on Mother's Day. Okay don't know for sure, but perhaps she is just upset with you over something, and this could pass.. not sure how far along she is either, but believe me their are times when you just want everyone to back off,, Even your mom..

Think back to when you were pregnant with her, did you have mood swings? Were some of your mom's suggestions sometimes irritating? If you could put yourself in your daughters shoes for a moment, and I think you can, Now you might understand.
Try being a calming effect for her. act like this is okay with you, you understand
If this is her first Child she is nervous to say the least never mind scared. Tell her instead of being Hurt,, Tell her She is right and what ever it is she wants, you will go to battle for her to make it so.. Be her Voice to the rest concerning her wishes.. I know if my Daughter all the sudden at the time of delivery had a change of heart, and said Everyone OUT,, I want everyone out.. I would have been the first one to clear the room, and then Left with the People she threw out.. After all she said Everyone.. LOL. I would abide by her wishes..

So I think you should think this threw before jumping to any conclusion.
Think of your daughters feelings, Think of your first birth. any birth for that matter cause they are all different. . Good Luck, There is much bonding once the baby is here by the way.. Babies make everything fresh and new in a relationship.. they some how bring us together. Even as close as my Daughters and I are, I already know after my oldest has her's in October we will bond even more. I know this because her younger sister and I have already gone through this. I am close to both, but my youngest daughter and I sometimes would clash,, now we never do.. She see's now why I was so protective over her all those years.. We bonded more Thanks to my Grandson. .LOL. He is so cute. They just melt your heart away.. and believe me you won't care if you were in the delivery room once he/she gets here. . YOU will only be interested in Holding him/her.. After Checking fingers and toes.. LOL>

Dove - posted on 06/20/2015




Yes. It's the birth of HER child... and who is or is not there is 100% her business.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/22/2015




Well basically...yes, you are.
Birth is private, and the only people who belong in the room are those that the parents want to have.
My mother was welcome at the hospital, but not in the delivery room once delivery was imminent. And, believe me, that was a concession for me, even allowing her to be present in the hospital. Lets face it, my mother stresses me out at the best of times!
Basically, just as with everything else with her family...its her wishes. Especially when she's in labor. Mom's body, Mom's wishes. Period.

Gena - posted on 06/22/2015




As much as i love my mother, i also did not want her in the room. I also wanted it to be private. Only hubby me and the docs. I personaly would not want a photographer in the room, but in the end it is your daughters choice. I would respect that.

Duse1 - posted on 06/20/2015




I agree with everyone will have to respect her wishes.. HOW ever you are perfectly in your own right to feel hurt.. and having a photographer there is not private either.. but this day and age young people go through some sort of changes I don't even understand.. still best to heed to her wishes.. I mean after all I am sure you will get to see the baby once she gets here... right.. Let her have this moment.. it really is a time she might just want to bond with her child.. who knows.. I for one am glad my two daughters want me there.. in fact I tried to say maybe you should only have your man there.. They both said NO way.. and as it turned out for my youngest Daughter,, I was needed for moral support..but so was her man in fact his mom was there as well. LOL
.. oh well, you don't need to hear about all that,.. this is about you.. and your daughter.. I say back off.. act like you could care less.. and who knows.. she could even change her mind..

Ev - posted on 06/20/2015




My daughter at the beginning of her pregnancy with her daughter told me she wanted me with her. When the time came she decided differently. I was a bit put out but I followed her wishes. She was fine we all waited in the waiting room for her to give birth and then we were allowed in a few at a time to meet the new family member. With my grandson she wanted the same again but I went up early to the hospital to wait it out in the waiting room once again but I got to go back and visit with her for a while until things got going faster for her. I treasured that one! You have to respect her wishes. It might have not been the way you wanted to hear her choices especially on Mother's Day but it is her choice. I do understand how you feel about not being in the room to see the birth but she is an adult and can decide what she wants. I had my mom, mom inlaw, husband (now ex) and a best friend (who we told the doc was my sis so she could stay) all with me for the birth of my daughter. My mother had told me when I did have kids she would be 100 miles away. She was also there holding my hand once more when I had my son. So we each have it differently. Just be glad she is going to inform you when baby is born.

Michelle - posted on 06/20/2015




I didn't want anyone there except for my partner! I wouldn't be offended if my daughter didn't want me there at all, it's her birth, her child and her choice.
I think it's a bit strange having a photographer though but each to their own.

Sarah - posted on 06/20/2015




Agrees with dove. She wants it to be private but documented. Her labor her wishes.

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