My daughter doesnt want to go to her dad's house.

Traci - posted on 05/28/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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my daughter is 12 and says she doesnt like going to her dads anymore because he is always picking on her and she always wants to do things with her friends. Is this normal for her age and what do i tell her dad if he really wants to see her and she doesnt want to go?: Thanks

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Tisha - posted on 05/28/2010

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Legally, you have to make her go unless you take him to court and get the visitation changed. I'm not sure what state you are in but in Florida the custodial parent is required to encourage and support the relationship between the non- custodial parent and the child. I would talk to him about the situation. Explain to him that he is making her feel uncomfortable by picking on her and that it is important that he allow her to participate in social activities when she is with him for visitaion. If he pushes then the issue then you might have to file a petition for modification of the custody/visitation order. However, a judge is probably not going to take away his visitation because she just doesn't want to go. You need to have real proof that she is being mistreated.

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Cathy - posted on 01/03/2014

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Ccont'd.......are split 50/50. My son every now and then simply decides he does not want to come over to my home for my scheduled weekend. Now both my ex and I are re-married with other children and have been for sometimeand both step-parents are accepted by my son. My son has many excuses for not wanting to visit including he wants more weekend time with his dad or he sees me to much or he complains about being bored and so on. His father believed that he was old enough to make the decision if he did or did not want to visit. My son lived with me primarily for 13 years and never missed his visits with his father no matter what the excuse unless agreed upon by his father. I made it clear and so did the judge that he is simply a teenage boy and wants thw freedom those years give him. Parents seperate but your relationship with your child should stay strong and each parent should be involved with their child as much as possible. I told my son I knew what was best.for him and grumpy on my weekends or not this was his home.to and he would just have to get used to it. Until he turns 18 he is my responsibility to not just his fathers and his father has no right to ignore my rights as his mother and that my decisions far out weigh that of my teenage son. I am flexible and encourage my son to be open about his opinions and wishes and their is compromise if certain things arrive and we can always shuffle things around. If both parents were still married would your teenager be able to decide which parent he wanted to have parent him at whichever time he chooses? Of course not that is ridiculous! So is denying your ex access with no SAFETY concerns and that is each parents right unless proven in court otherwise.
I may have a moody teenager at times but I know I am being there for when it all adds up to count and he knows that he is loved.

Traci - posted on 05/28/2010

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wow you gals are great. all great advice. i'm always telling her she needs to go visit her dad b/c you never knowe what is going to happen. she doesnt like talking to him much b/c he doesnt take her seriously so i probablyt need to be the one to do it. thanks a bunch, i love circle of moms, its great.

Medic - posted on 05/28/2010

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When I was 12 I moved out of my moms house and in with my dad. I refused to go see her to the point that I would just leave the house on the days I knew she was comming. She called the police trying to make me go and the police told her that I was of age to make the decision they couldn't make me. Personally I would let your daughter air her feelings and go from there, maybe her dad would be willing to work out an alternative schedule. To this day I am glad my dad did not force me to go with her.

Cheryl - posted on 05/28/2010

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I have a 15 yr.old son who around the pre-teen yrs. decided also that he did'nt like going over to his dads house every other weekend, and at that age thier friends are thier world. but I encouraged the visits and he went, sometimes not to happy w/ me. now he's glad for the time he spend with his dad. because not to long after the visits, his dad died suddenly at home!! unless your ex is hurting your daughter, mentally and shes truley being picked on, I would encourage you to have her go,studies show girls do need thier dads..

Becky - posted on 05/28/2010

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My best friend in high school HATED going to her dads but he still made her go. He was a comlpete jerk and she was even aloud to call let alone see any of her friends. If there was a b-day party or anything special going on, on HIS weekends she could not go. Talk to her father and explain to him how she feels about him picking on her and how she would like to be able to see her friends during the weekend. Maybe they can set up something to where she can still hang out with friends for a few hours on the weekend or something. Good luck

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