My daughter doesnt want to go to her unrelated grandmothers

Ms. - posted on 11/06/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My oldest daughter's father died when she was 1. I met someone when she was 3 and had another child but it did not work out with my 2nd daughters father either. He did step up and wanted to keep them together when my youngest came to visit. But his mother my 2nd childs real grandma really stepped up and takes them to church with them and wants to see them when ever she can. Now my oldest daughter is 12. She says that she isnt treated the same way as her younger sister by her 'grandma' and that she is way to strict to her when she isnt to my youngest. She doesnt want to stay with her ever again. I dont know what to do and of course have no father figure to help me with this issue we are having. I will add my 12 year old is the smartest kid in the south east on paper and in gifted, beta, band.. she is a really good kid... what do i do.. need some opinions!!

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[momoftwo] - posted on 11/06/2013

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Wow, controlling grandma lol. That's ridiculous, fighting with her over a shirt. I went to church when I was little but I was never formal. I wore jeans and a t-shirt.
And to take her things away like that, well, she shouldn't have done that because she isn't her mother.
I wouldn't blame her for not wanting to go there anymore and I wouldn't blame you for keeping her home if she's going to be treated differently.

Ms. - posted on 11/06/2013

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well the one thing that made me mad when i talked to her about it was one night she was staying the night with her and they got into an argument about a shirt she wanted to where to church and her 'grandma' said it wasnt formal enough and my daughter 'debated' with her to where it.. (normal 12 year old behavior) and she said she was being disrespectful and took her phone and ipod and when my daughter asked to call me she said no.. ive 3 total discussions concerning taking the phone and ipod because it has happened 3 times and told the 'grandma' to please call me and save me a trip 30 miles round trip to retrieve them back from her.. and just let me know whats going on... i believe she is to strict in all honesty but im not saying she is a bad person in anyway.. i believe it is the wrong way to deal with situations.. considering what her son has told me about her forcing things on him when he was younger...

ive almost though maybe i should make my daughter tell her she doesnt want to come over 'ever again'... would that be bad?

[momoftwo] - posted on 11/06/2013

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Ask your daughter more about what's going on and have a talk to the grandma because that's not fair at all, kids can sense when people play favorites and it hurts. She has to stop doing that. But on the other hand too depending on the situation parents are more strict with their kids as they get older. It's a different kind of strict.

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