Anna - posted on 10/14/2012 ( 11 moms have responded )
My daughter did not tell me for many years that while I was paying for her private school education when she was 15 by myself with no support from her father who remarried, and also paid for her private college by myself, a new car as a graduation gift, and alot more such as travel, nice clothes, a therapist, graduation party and on and on, which was a very big struggle for me to do on my own...that she bonded with, spent time with, and in the end allowed her stepmom to give her her weddding which all has come as a great big shock to me. Her wedding was a few years ago and because of the abuse carried out on me by her father, the very nastly divorce and abuse from the stepmother, I did not go to my own daughter´s wedding in Mexico. I begged her not to do this, asked her to wait as she was already living with her husband and to allow me to give her a wedding later. She could have had it in Marbella Spain at our beautiful villa but chose not to. It took me two years just to feel normal again after the wedding took place with all of her friends that I had helped her to cultivate in all of her private schools. I have only seen her once in six years when she came here last summer with her new baby and took me out to lunch only to tell me the next day that it was too expensive and then went out to the beach and had a massage. I really feel like she and they must think I am so stupid and they even wanted to know about the villa here and inheritance. I feel like they have made me suffer so much hurt that I should not leave her the same equal amount in inheritance as my other daughter who lives with me and is turning 15. To top it all off, the only photo she has posted of her trip here has a message from her stepmother sprawled across it, if you use your mouse, with her full name spelled out. It is just too much. I was so devoted to my daughter, sacrificed, nursed her, never stopped worrying and trying and never ever could have dreamt that this would happen. It is just so painful. I do not think there is anybody else out there who is going through the same thing. I looked before for a support group with like minded moms in the same situation but could not find one, until I found this one. I am 56 years old now and thinking about how I want to live the rest of my life. My daughter in Texas who has hurt me so much, wants us to move there but I just do not trust her enough to envision her never hurting me again. I feel blocked a bit with my feelings towards my little grandaughter who is just over one now and even looks like me, because I am afraid she could be used as a tool to hurt me again, especially since the stepmother was also present at her birth and so....what can I do. Please do send me any abusive responses only send me something that you think might help. Thanks.