my daughter hates her father

Lucy - posted on 04/17/2016 ( 8 moms have responded )

5

0

2

my 14 year old daughter hates her father, they always argue, and as he has been aggressive to her and they have no respect for each other. i always get stuck in the middle. my daughter and i are starting to have a bad relationship as she wants me to help her but i have no idea what to do. she hates coming home and when she around him she starts feeling sick and i tried getting them to talk she ended up scratching her face with her nail cos she was so stress and tear and she scream out "i don't want to get hurt again" i have no idea what to do , please help

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sarah - posted on 04/18/2016

8,728

0

21

If you do not have money for private counseling then call the school and every possible social service agency you can find. If she need chemotherapy, you'd find a way to pay for it. Many good therapists will see you on a sliding scale. If you contact CPS then they will require counseling and likely pay for it as well. CPS is scary becasue they can dictate changes but you must keep in mind that this is to help your child not punish your family. CPS or DCFS wants to keep you together, but if you refuse to make your child safe, they will take her from you. You can self report, and let them know you just don't know what to do next. If you don't and a school nurse or teacher sees scratches or your daughter discloses abuse, then they are obligated to report

8 Comments

View replies by

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/19/2016

13,255

21

2015

Seriously? You are handling an abused child, you have been either ignoring the abuse, or allowing it to continue, and you are blaming finances as to why you haven't removed your children to a safe, NON ABUSIVE environment?

DO IT NOW. stop making excuses. Your daughter is exhibiting signs of extreme abuse. Is this man her biological father, or a man that you married from a subsequent relationship?

Michelle - posted on 04/17/2016

3,619

8

3245

You need to get her away from him any way you can.
Ask your doctor for help or find a woman's shelter to go to.
Don't use money problems as an excuse, when it comes to your children you should be doing everything to keep them safe.

Lucy - posted on 04/17/2016

5

0

2

i was considering moving with out with her but our family is having serious money issue and i can't afford her going to counselling. i have no idea what to do now x

Michelle - posted on 04/17/2016

3,619

8

3245

I agree with the other ladies.
It's your job to keep your children safe. Get your daughter away and into counseling. You aren't in the middle at the moment, your daughter sees it as you sticking up for her abuser and not helping her. She should be your first priority, not him.

Sarah - posted on 04/17/2016

8,728

0

21

Either send dad to live elsewhere while you get her started in therapy or move out with her yourself. Self-mutilation is way more serious than typical father daughter turmoil.

Jodi - posted on 04/17/2016

3,558

36

3907

" i tried getting them to talk she ended up scratching her face with her nail cos she was so stress and tear and she scream out "i don't want to get hurt again" "

Right here you described an abused child. You get her the hell out of the abusive environment and you get her into counselling. She is a child - you have no right to be in the middle of this, you need to be on her side.

Dove - posted on 04/17/2016

11,675

0

1349

He's aggressive to her? As in he hits her? You call the police and press charges against that jerk and you get her into counseling asap. Do NOT stand by while your daughter is being abused so bad that she is turning to self mutilation. It is your job to protect her. If she goes and reports the abuse to school and you have done nothing to stop it... CPS is likely to take her away from both of you and get her safe.

If he is not physically violent to her then you get her into counseling and you demand that he go to counseling or you will both leave until he is willing to get help.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms