My Daughter hates me

Tracey - posted on 04/22/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I tried to save a marriage doomed from the start. I kept my ex-husbands abuse a secret from my kids. When they became teens it was impossible and I divorced for them. Yes , for them. I loved this man and easily forgiving his drinking binges and emotional abuse along with physical at times. It was hard after my divorce financially and my kids turned from supportive to being verbally abusive like their Dad. Time passed and I thought we were on our way to healing until my Daughter let me know the other week how much she hated me. I only get contacted when she wants money or to buy her something . When I text her and try to have a conversation I get the response of, " Please stop". I'm more then heartbroken and can't seem to get her to talk. I occasionally will text her a simple I love you with no return text. Should I just move on with life and forget I have this beautiful girl?

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Raye - posted on 04/23/2015

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If she's 22, she's an adult and can live her own life. I'm sure you want a relationship with her, but sometimes the kids need to live a little to realize that what they were upset about maybe wasn't that big a deal. If she won't even have civil communication with you, then don't give in to her when she calls needing your help. Don't be mean about it, but just tell her that SHE chose not to have a relationship with you. You will always love her, because your her mom, but it's not love to allow yourself to be used or abused. A relationship is give and take. If she's not going to give a little, then she can't expect to take. Conversation is not too much to ask in return for your help.

Raye - posted on 04/22/2015

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Keep trying to build a relationship with your kids, but don't push them or ask too much of them. A text to say "I love you" every once in a while is not too much. Sounds like maybe Dad has influenced them against you. How old are they? Did she say why she hates you? Sounds like you need to try to sit down with her and have a good heart-to-heart talk.

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Tracey - posted on 04/22/2015

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Yes, my Ex is so hateful he is constantly bashing me. My Daughter that's having the attitude is 22. I just text an I love you tonight. No response of course.

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