Linda - posted on 03/16/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )
I have read quite a few stories on this webpage about adult daughters who are narcissists and I can identify with almost all of them. Before reading these stories and finding this website, I felt I was the only mother in the world who has a daughter who completely hates her, disrespects her and blames her for everything that has ever gone wrong in her world.
I have/had a 19 year old daughter who I no longer choose to have any contact with due to all the abuse she has done toward myself and my family. She has always felt she is entitled to everything and we have done so much for her throughout her life.........that was until last July. I sacrificed myself to no end just to help her achieve her goal to become a cosmetologist and finish high school all in one year. I drove her to and from school and paid for all of her supplies and for her to go to State Board. Obviously that wasn't good enough for her..........but oh well! There is way too much to go into in one message so I will keep things brief. Everything came to a nasty head as soon as she turned 18 and her behavior was completely out of control. She met some guy online and without any thought for others in my house........she invited him to come pick her up at my house for the their first meeting. Needless to say I completely lost it and told her she had to get out of my house if she was going to engage in such risky behavior! Things calmed down for a short time after that and then in April 2014 she met some other loser online and things escalated from there to the point that her father and I had to kick her out of the house. Her father drove her around and showed her different apartments and options and told her she had 30 days to get out, unless she did one more thing. Well her loser and abusive boyfriend she met online just 6 weeks prior talked her into moving clear out into the middle of nowhere, so he could be closer to his own mommy. So, of course............she didn't even last two more days after that and that was the last straw..............we kicked her out, turned off her phone and told her she could come back long enough to pack up her crap. She never did come back to pack her stuff and we had to do it ourselves. I threw everything into boxes and didn't care if stuff got broken. She left and we didn't hear from her for almost 2 months. It crushed me that she could care less about us and what she was doing to us. She has no emotions or empathy for anyone unless there is something in it for her. She so selfish.
The last episode she pulled was my final breaking point. Things were going better and she was actually trying to have a relationship with us and then the next thing I knew................she turned and ran back to her abusive boyfriend. All she does is lie about everything and I can't trust a thing she says/said. When my husband and I were trying to talk to her through texting, neither of us got any response..........at least not from her. She basically threw us under the bus and handed her phone over to him so he could read what we were talking about. Then he proceeded to respond using his own phone and sent some very nasty messages. Not once did my daughter defend us or speak to us. She let her low life thug boyfriend do it. At that point I had nothing to lose..............and I told her good-bye and that I no longer want any contact with her until she can fight her own battles and respect me. I ended up having to block her from facebook and my phone. My husband had to do the same or his temper would have put him in jail. That stupid loser boyfriend isn't worth it anyhow! I told my daughter in my last message that she deserves exactly what her boyfriend is going to dish out to her. I'm so full of anger most of the time and I grieve so much for the lose of my daughter. It's bad enough that I lost a son, my first born, to a physical death 24 (almost 25) years ago. The thoughts that run through my mind are horrendous and I ask for forgiveness as I know it stems from all the anger I have toward her.
After her last nasty episode I made a decision to go to her workplace, so that there would be no confrontation with her boyfriend. My husband had to approach her as it was technically his property that he was going to retrieve. He took her military ID and her health insurance cards away from her. We will not be held accountable for anything if she should get pregnant, especially since she has treated us so wretchedly. Bad behavior should not be rewarded............not in my way of thinking. My husband and I both feel the only reason she started communicating with us again after getting kicked out was for Christmas presents (which she didn't get squat!), then for her birthday in Jan and for her health insurance cards. It seems as soon as she got what she wanted out of us she threw us to the wolves. But, she never saw us coming back to take away her ONLY ID and insurance cards!!! She has used me time and again and I'm DONE! I refuse to let her do anymore damage to my self esteem and emotions. I was and am still a good mother, very devoted to my children, well, now just my 24 year old son. Who, by the way, is the most caring and loving young man a mother could ask for. How I could raise two living children and they turned out completely opposite is just mind blowing to me. Both were raised the same and taught the same values....................it just breaks my heart.
There are days I cope pretty well and then there are days I fall into such a deep depression. Does anyone else go through these same emotions? I wished there were a local group in my town that had support groups for parents going through similar issues as myself. It would help a great deal to have a more one on one contact.