my daughter having a baby

Mary - posted on 10/19/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 18. Just found out she is almost four months . She told me she dont think her boyfriend wants the baby. She said she cant take care of it because she is young and no job. I told her that i will take it and raise it until she can. This would be my first grandchild and i dont know if i will have any more. I have four children. My son is 21 and he will never have kids because he dont like them. The there is my daughter who is 18 and my other two daughters are 10 and 7. By the time they have any i will be to old. I am 46. Do u think its wrong for me to raise my grandchild until she can?

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Sarah - posted on 10/20/2016

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Yes, that is not good for the child. Both you and your daughter have to stop thinking about yourselves and put the child first. If you raise the child then you are mom. You need to make the commitment to be mom and raise the child for the next 18+ years. The child is not a doll or a puppy that can just be given to someone else to raise at a certain age. That will mess up the child and cause the child to have lots of problems. Your daughter also has to think about this situation. She will be birth mom, but not mom. Can she live with that. That is not easy. You also have to look at what is best for this child. Your statement about this maybe being the only gandchild might be.....you don't know what future holds. But that is about you not the child. You have to look at what is best for the child. Maybe an open adoption with someone outside the family would be best. You can still be part of the child's life, but then the child is not passed between people. I would suggest contacting a local adoption agency that does birth parent counseling. Get some information and learn more about what an open adoption would be like.

Michelle - posted on 10/20/2016

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I don't think it's completely wrong but your daughter needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions.
She chose to have unprotected sex and surely she knows that could result in pregnancy.
She's an adult and in my opinion, has to step up and not just let you raise her child. You can support her and help her, but not raise the child completely.

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