My daughter in law and I have different ideas

Colleen - posted on 04/03/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My grand daughter will be 7 in about six weeks. She has a very fertile imagination and loves believing that fairies and leprechauns and the like, are real. However, her mom does not encourage her to believe these things. She says they aren't real. I am not sure if I should support her or go along with my Grand daughter. She is so insistent that her Mom is wrong. I don't want to get in between them, but I think my grand daughter's imaginary world makes her extremely happy. She is a bright child, but I don't know at what age she needs to hear the truth.

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Raye - posted on 04/04/2016

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Around 7-9 years of age is when many kids stop believing in things like Santa Claus and Tooth Fairy. They either find out from older siblings or kids at school start making fun of them for still believing. While it's good to promote a healthy imagination, you don't want to encourage a child to believe falsehoods that will get them made fun of or feel crushed when they find out the truth. So the mother is sort-of right.... but not entirely.

One way that I explained magic to my step-daughter was to tell her that just because people can't see something or explain it doesn't mean it's not true. When she smiles or laughs, I smile and feel happy, and that is a kind of magic. When she gives me a hug, it makes me feel better, and that's magic too. Maybe real magic isn't all glitter and unicorns, but there is real magic. Santa Claus may not be a real person, but the spirit of Santa (generosity and making others happy) is real and the magic is when you can brighten someone's day.

There are many real things in this world that people don't see because they have closed off their hearts or chosen not to see it. Just because we don't see fairies and leprechauns doesn't mean they don't exist or haven't ever existed. It means maybe we haven't been looking, or not looking in the right place, or not understanding what we see. Science has not yet explained everything. And as small as the world has become these days, not every inch has yet been explored. Who knows what is out there in the hidden places?

Colleen - posted on 04/03/2016

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Thanks, Sarah. I have always respected my Daughter in law and abide by her wishes. I would never say she was wrong, especially to her child. I just didn't know if I should say that her fantasy life is not real. I am trying to find a way to explain to my grand daughter the difference between make believe and reality without breaking her spirit.

Sarah - posted on 04/03/2016

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Ultimately you have to respect her parents. that doesn't mean the two of you can enjoy a fun imaginative time when you are together. To tell her her mother is wrong, is well, wrong. You can tell her you believe in magic etc. but that's about as far as I'd go. om can cut you off and you don't want that.

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