My daughter is 9 and posting inappropriate pictures online.

Emilie - posted on 08/04/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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where to start... So i left her father about 4 years ago. He is a 38 year old pot head who can barely keep down a job at taco bell. He gets to have her every other weekend. When ever she is with him, he ignores her and only does things with her if his girlfriend want to do it. He started dating his girlfriend a year ago when she was 19, she has 2 kids from 2 different men. Her younger sister, who is 13, is a very promiscuous girl and has gotten my daughter to post pictures of them in only bathing suits and short shorts with make up on and in suggestive poses like them bending over, kissing each others cheeks, showing cleavage etc. one of my younger sisters saw the pictures and told me about them and I made her take them down as soon and i could. But a few days later, my ex's girlfriend made a fake facebook for her and put the pictures back up. I eventually found out about it and had it taken care of. It seems that if I complain about it he lets her do it even more. Hes stuck on the statistics that children are growing up faster and learning some things at a younger age and i completely understand that and i like that she has a facebook because it helps her keep in touch with her aunts and grand parents, i cant afford to buy her a phone...but that doesn't mean she should be doing these things at 9 years old...actually i don't think i would like her doing this at any age but especially not at this age. She is also so angry at everything and i don't know what to do.

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Corinne - posted on 08/05/2012

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Personally, I would delete her facebook and have her write letters to her relatives instead. If the ex and his girlfriend set one up in her name, report it as fake and have it taken down. If it continues to happen, get relatives involved, they can report innappropriate images too. I thought there was an age limit on FB anyway? If she really HAS to have an account, you need to set it up with her. She must let you have her passwords and all posts to be friends only etc. That way you can help her monitor what is up there and who gets to see it and if others post innapropriate pics of her, report them too.

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Amy - posted on 08/05/2012

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Delete the Facebook account the age is 13 to have one, and there is a reason for that, obviously at 9 she doesn't understand the implications of having an account! I understand you don't have the money for a cell but I just wanted to say even if you did she's not ready for that yet either based on what she's doing. If her aunts and grandparents want to talk to her they can call the house or your phone, or she can write letters as someone else suggested.

Tina - posted on 08/05/2012

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yes there is meant to be an age limit think it's 13 not sure. Hundreds of profiles are shut down each day of under age users. I agree with Corinne. Unfortunately now even if your not friends with someone and have a private profile if one of your friends likes your picture or shares it. Their friends can see it and so on. If you use any applications or games they also have access to your profile and pictures.

Tina - posted on 08/05/2012

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That's is really inappropriate and I know how you feel. My younger sister is 11. She lives with my mum 2000kms away. Mum doesn't have much time with the kids and she works. Well she idolises my brothers ex which is pregnant. I have no problem with that. But she to poses some inappropriate ways with a ton of make up and my sister is doing it. I don't care what day and age it is it's never ok to allow a kid to things like that at that age. Maybe your best bet is to have a mother daughter conversation. Just explain to her. It's great she can go on facebook keep up with friends, post pictures etc. But some pictures are inappropriate. Give her list of things that are inappropriate. You said she has family members on facebook as well. Maybe talk to them as well. If they see the pictures get them to let you know or even comment on how it's inappropriate or something. Even report it they have to. You may not be able to stop it but at least she'll know how you feel about it. Maybe explain to your partner that he doesn't know all the friends she may have and who may be viewing the pictures. Nowadays if one person likes your picture their friends will also see it. Explain how it leave her wide open to be manipulated by boys and possibly older men. If he doesn't agree someone needs to be able to view her messages and make sure no one is grooming her. I know this sounds extreme. But in my experience their is some twisted people in the world and sometimes the people you least expect will do the most horrible things. Sorry I guess I'm very protective when it comes to this sort of thing.

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