My daughter is 'done with school' and now not graduating

Melissa - posted on 05/04/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have held my daughter back a year starting from grade 8 as she was fairly behind having changed countries, England and Canada back and forth. However, she has never excelled in school and found it always 'tough' or there was always something not working out. She not only suffers anxiety,y but she has dyslexia which we found out when she was 15, but now that she has reached grade 12 and wants to take another route, I am feeling hopeful, having read the posts on this site that she will find her own route. She is a lovely girl and converses well in most situations but has never ever found school easy for some reason. Thank you to all of you who may understand my situation.

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Jodi - posted on 05/05/2015

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I, too, believe University is not for everyone and I'd never push my kids. I didn't go to Uni directly after I finished school - I went back when I was 23 to do my first degree, then at 40 to do my second degree!! There are so many options out there, it is senseless to push our kids into a course that is going to cost s fortune if they aren't interested. It is never too late to go back later if they want to!

I think we also have to consider that very few people enter a career now and stay in it forever. Personally, I have changed career 3 times in my life already. I have a brother who did his degree in Accounting, but is now a hotel manager. My step-daughter has a degree in Commerce and Hospitality but is currently a qualified personal trainer and loving that. So pinning all your hopes for your children on a single university degree is crazy. If it is what they want, great, and while we should allow them the opportunities, we should also allow them the variety of choices that are out there, not just the belief that a Uni degree is the be all and end all.

I'm glad your daughter has some things lined up. At this point, the important things is for her to build up her bank of skills. For example, if she enjoys working with the children, then maybe doing some night classes at a community college on child development. Or if it is the horses she enjoys working with, perhaps some animal husbandry or horse training courses, where she can get a certificate.

But don't fret that she isn't interested in going to school. If she has the right work ethic, and keeps building her skills in the real world, she will definitely find her way.

Melissa - posted on 05/05/2015

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Well, actually Jodi, she is not attending school. She is looking to work voluntarily over the summer at a horse camp and assist children who stay for part of their holidays. She works well in an environment being hands on. She has also told me she has a job lined up for September which I am hopeful will give her some perspective into what it is she needs and wants to do.
Others cannot believe she suffers anxiety as she is very outgoing and friendly. However, I do believe that being in a school setting was not for her and I am beginning to realise that she is not alone. We do all work things our own way. I did not go to university but was straight into the workforce and enjoyed working in different environments.
Interesting to read that you are both a teacher and that your son is not wanting to go to university. I love Australia and have visited twice fortunately. My husband's family are in Eagle Heights in Brisbane which was a beautiful part to have visited.
Thank you so much, again, for your extremely thoughtful and kind advice.

Jodi - posted on 05/05/2015

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I am also the mother of a child the same age who has no interest in going to university, so I know it from the perspective of a parent too......he is in the process of getting his Hospitality Certificate II, as well as looking at a program for a Diploma in Sports Management. I have said to him, you are either studying or working, or both. I will guide and support your choices as best I can, but sitting around and not studying or working toward some sort of career is not an option.

Jodi - posted on 05/05/2015

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You are welcome, Melissa. I am a high school teacher, and I see it on a daily basis. There are always kids who need other options. These apprenticeships work well. I hope you have similar options where you live. Talk to the school careers advisor and see if they can help her with some ideas. Hopefully they are as supportive as the careers advisors we have here.

Jodi - posted on 05/04/2015

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I don't know what resources you have available to her. I am in Australia, and here, our students do have the options of Australian School Based Apprenticeships, or looking at certificate courses in various vocational areas. These are fantastic options for students who are not destined to another several years of academia. University/tertiary education is not for everyone. Help her explore some career options where she may be able to undertake some more career focused training and she may be happier with continuing her education while also qualifying for something she really enjoys.

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