My daughter is really struggling with everything.

Michele - posted on 11/20/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My daughter just can't hold a job. She is in her own world and wont take her add medication. She is 21. She still lives with us and is taking a few classes. SHe just got fired from a waitress job. She was making good tips but annoyed them( I think) by never listening and doing what they wanted her to do. She now says shes stupid and cheated her way through school. She has had trauma in her life, it would take too long to mention it all. She is so hateful to me and my husband. Keeps constant drama going. SHe is obsessed with her looks and always thinks shes ugly. Fact is she's beautiful. Everyone say's so. She has threatened to commit suicide. She is on antidepressants. Living with her is hell but I feel like it will never change. She has poor relationships with men, maybe due to her father, I am not sure. She is so immature. She curses and screams. She leaves and doesn't tell us where she is. She will just get up and take our good car without asking. She is just plain disrespectful. I really am worried constantly. It is killing me. My son is ambitious and great in school. I have loved them both the same. I have tried so hard. Please help

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Ariana - posted on 11/20/2013

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Maybe you should try to get into family councelling? It may help to have an outsider help with the issues.

On one hand you are her parents, on the other she is an adult. Try to get her to go with you and speak to a family councellor, if she won't go just get the rest of your family to go first. They can assist you with how YOU can change to deal with this.

You can't change her, you can't force her to act a certain way, you are a support to her.

I would also suggest going with her somewhere just you and her, maybe a class or activity together. Go take an art class, or dance class together. Join a club together. She sounds like she has self-esteem issues, sometimes just getting good at something can be a positive thing, especially together. Make it about having fun with her.

In terms of your car or your house you can put limits and/or rules that you need, but once again, a councellor may be a good resource in terms of figuring out what you should or shouldn't do.

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