Nola - posted on 01/08/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )
My daughter and her cousin are both five. A while ago, the cousin has been interested in touching herself and drawing my child into experiments with her. My sister and I both know it. I talked to my daughter about her special private parts and my sister talked to her daughter about her special private parts. We don't want them to experiment with each other and that kind of thing must be kept private to themselves...bottom line.
It was a bit of time ago when I mentioned to my daughter that her cousins were coming for a visit (it had been awhile since she saw them). I expected her to be happy, but instead she replied that she did not like her older cousin anymore because he saw her private parts.
Naturally, I talked to my sister about it and she grilled the two. Everyone had a different story. It was hard to get much out of my kid. But the older cousin said they were in her room when he walked in and he walked out.
Okay, well shit the two girls were doing it again, but that sounded reasonable. Fine then. At least the "older" cousin is not involved. Stupid girl stuff between two girls the same age I can handle. I don't like it and I gave the talk again, but I've read that kind of thing can be a curiosity thing than bad.
They came over for Christmas dinner. They all played together. There was a time the three were alone downstairs while I finished dinner. It was a day, maybe two that my daughter confined into her dad about what happened during that visit while they were cleaning up downstairs. Apparently, the three were showing their parts to one another and touching each others parts.
When I heard that I was not impressed. I decided maybe it was some stupid shit, but I am not about to ignore this either. Her birthday was coming soon and they will be together again. I wanted a camera to record the shit that happens when my eye isn't there. I want to know what is happening.
The birthday is getting closer. I give her another talk. I don't want her to let people touch her parts. I do not think she is getting it. She seems piqued by the prospect. Well damn. I told her a story when I was much older (12 actually) and the terrible ordeal I went through by not treating my special parts private. The words I used was "I fooled around with a boy - we touched. The next day he told everyone in school and I was crushed and unbelievably hurt."
She said she would never show her private parts again. Then she said. "I have a confession." She told me her cousin licked her down there.
Now the alarm is settling in. I admit I grilled her a bit. I asked if she did it too and she said yes. I asked did that not tasted gross. She scrunched up her nose and nodded yes. I asked about the cousin's penis if she touched it and she said yes. I asked if he put it anywhere else and she pointed to her mouth.
Other details like she did not like to touch it sometimes because it looked gross sometimes. Her cousins did it a lot more to each other than she did and I think that is about it.
The older cousin is 15.
I phoned my sister and her husband over for a chat. It needed to be told. If true it is serious and not acceptable.
Surprisingly, though perhaps on the surface the husband seemed more open to the possibility. My sister seemed to think my daughter is exaggerating or lying about it. Her daughter has been told by a professional to keep her stuff private.
I don't know. They want to set up a camera up to see what really goes on during her birthday party. I would like to know exactly what happens, but my husband is right. On her birthday? And treat her like bait for a possible harmful situation? I am not sure if the camera they plan is a live feed or not. And what if it is true. What then? Birthday party over? Everyone go home?
Would my daughter lie about THAT?! She is usually pretty good matured, kind, loving, and eager to make friends and earn their approval. As for myself, I find things difficult lately with her younger brother who is very difficult at the moment. Could my lack of attention cause her to lie to get attention? What do you think should be my step?