My daughter is so moody and yells all the time!!!

Kim - posted on 03/27/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am so worried about my daughter. She is doing fine in school, good grades, likes going, likes her teacher, etc. She has kids she plays with, but no "real friends." Granted, she's only 10 but I remember having close friends at that age. She is terrible at home. She constantly fights with her sister (age 8), it is impossible for them to coexist. My daughter is hardly every in a good mood. She has a hard time going to sleep at night, so she wakes up tired. She has ADHD and has been on meds since she was 6. We have tried taking her off, thinking the medication was affecting her sleep, but she does not do well - so much so the teacher called to find out if my husband and I were divorcing, a death in the family, etc. She rages everyday. When I try to hurry her to go ANYWHERE she screams at me. She is incapable of moving quickly. She rolls her eyes when I talk, screams in my face, and when I punish (no tv, take away her phone, etc) she tells me "I don't care!" Then every night, like clockwork, when I tuck her in she says "was I mean or rude to you today?" I tell her "yes" and she will start to cry and apologize over and over. I am really struggling here, I don't know what to do. Her behavior is abusive. My father had manic depression, bipolarism, and was an alcoholic. I grew up in a verbally and emotionally abusive home; with her acting like this, it feels the same. I have Bipolar type 2 (thanks Dad) and I take medication every day for it. I don't know how to help her, I love her so much, but her apologies just don't mean anything anymore. I don't want to resent her, I don't want my feelings to fade. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! I do research, there are so many issues that she could have. I don't want to just add more medicine, I want to help her! She doesn't do well without her Concerta, I've accepted that and I am grateful it helps her. Does this moodiness and opposition fit with the ADHA, is it because she has gotten older? She hasn't started her period yet (thank goodness) so I don't know that its hormones. Has anyone experienced this?????

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Sarah - posted on 03/27/2015

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Those hormone shifts can start well before the obvious signs of puberty. So even if she is not developing breasts, body hair or started her period, the hormones that will bring all of those lovely changes may be being secreted already. I think the other mothers are spot on with the suggestion of a medication reevaluation.
It may be helpful to talk to a behavioral therapist who can give you some techniques to help your daughter with transitions. A good adolescent therapist can help you learn ways to "prep" her for change and how to respond to her without inflaming the situation. This can be an exhausting time regardless of you pre-teen's mental health. Hang in there!

Jodi - posted on 03/27/2015

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I see changes in students when they are going through puberty. They need to be re-evaluated for their medications regularly because the dosages change. Often, they have to change medications altogether. Onset of puberty does have an impact on how the body is responding. Take her back to her pediatrician.

Jackalope - posted on 03/27/2015

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I agree with Shawnn. 3 of my siblings had ADHD, and they constantly have to be re-evaluated. Sometimes a higher dose. Some children today are hitting puberty sooner than others, so it might be an issue. My sister was a total *beep* a while year before she started her period. And when she did, she was only nice when she was actually on it. It's gotten much better now that she's 25, but there's still times when you just want to punch her lol.

Some siblings just never get along. I never got along with my older brother, until we both had children. Now we're close. But for the majority of our lives, we hated each other.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/27/2015

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Get her re-evaluated. Med managed conditions should be re-evaluated often.

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