my daughter is ten and caught her chatting on kik

Monique - posted on 04/30/2015 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Chaught my daughter talking to 2 boys from her school and then a 14 yr old ... I check her tablet but today I caught her before she could delete anything and the things I saw makes me upset ... I'm scared I might over do it when I spank her help

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Ev - posted on 05/01/2015

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Monique~

I have to agree with the other ladies here. Your post said nothing about taking a tablet away nor the internet access. No child under the age of 18 actually needs the internet for more than school work at best and they do not need the social media like kik either. I had never heard of kik until this last week but after a parent explained (another mom on this forum) what it was I understood what it was for. I am sure that there are other social media in place that does the same thing as kik and most of them say that kids have to be at least 13 or older to use it. There is no need for anyone this age to have it. Kids are not only getting in trouble with this social media but they are also becoming glued to a screen and have not learned how to socialize. My son had issues with social skills and not because of social media and so on. He had other issues that kept him from becoming socially mature (ability to handle situations out side the family home). He was placed in classroom for one semester to get the help he needed for that and therapy as well. There were numerous changes and he is now more socially adept than those teens his age that focus on tech and social media. He does have Facebook but rarely uses it and the only reason he had it was his dad and step mom thought it would be a help in me and him keeping up with each other which was not necessary. I did not want him to have it in the first place and they did not have the nerve to ask me out right to get it for him.

Kids do not understand the demands of social media, the weight of the consequences that come with the choices made in the use of it, and are becoming socially inept at the same time. THese moms were just trying to help you keep your daughter safe. I would have said the same thing.

Michelle - posted on 05/01/2015

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Jodi wasn't putting you down. YOU said you were going to spank your child, Jodi gave you other options. YOU didn't say you were taking away her devices/internet so it's the first response people come up with.
If you don't put everything into your post then people may be telling you things that you have already done.
You have had help and have been told that she shouldn't be using the app without supervision. Yes, you think it's great but obviously your daughter isn't using it just for the purpose you intended.
I would be deleting the app and going back to good old fashioned phone calls and texts. Does it matter that text messages are a bit slower?
I very rarely ring my children when they are with their Dad and vice versa. I see that it's their time with their Father and I don't need to be interrupting that at all. Their Father has the same respect for me. Just another opinion.

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Jodi - posted on 05/01/2015

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Kik is actually one of the worst for social media issues amongst teens. It really is. Anyone who thinks it is okay for their kids to use unsupervised is asking for trouble. Sorry, but I work with teens, and it is really a very large risk. Anyone letting a 10 year old use it unsupervised is asking for trouble. It really does sound like you haven't done your research. That's not talking down to you - that's just fact.

Dove - posted on 05/01/2015

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Your daughter is TEN! The fact that she is saying these things... is a major cry for help. She 'broke up' w/ a kid from school?! Who is this 14 year old and how does she know him?


Taking away the device is just the first step here. You need to find out about these other kids and if there is any shred of truth to the things your daughter is saying... you need to find out why she feels the need to seek out inappropriate attention from guys at only 10 years of age.

Raye - posted on 05/01/2015

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My step kids are 10 and 8. Neither of them have their own phones. We have a tablet that we let the kids use for games sometimes, but it has parental controls and is time restricted as well. If the kids are with their mom and need to talk to dad, they have mom call on her cell and they talk, and vice versa. When they need internet for a school project, we watch what they do.

You have to monitor your kids to keep them from doing inappropriate things. What some parents call "convenience" I call lazy and irresponsible.

Monique - posted on 05/01/2015

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Lol wow the things y'all say.. have a good day .. yes I do my research kik isn't bad unless you use it in a bad way..I have it for talking to my husband it's faster then txt and for my daughter..Their is a problem when I call for her to her dad's so I use this app. WAS I already took everything away as soon as I saw what was going on. Don't talk down to me and try to put me down your on here for some reason too. Stop putting people down when they are asking for help.

Jodi - posted on 05/01/2015

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Really? You LET her have kik? Did you do your research?

There are other ways you can communicate with your child when she is at dad's house. Stop making excuses.

It is probably time you educated yourself on pre-teens and teens on social media. Your daughter is a classic case of future issues, and you are the classic parent who has no clue, pleading no knowledge of technology. Get some knowledge or you are screwed.

Monique - posted on 05/01/2015

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I let her have this app kik for us ..when she is at her dad's we talk. Or when she is here she talks to her dad...I found her talking to boy from school telling him she fucking hates him he was cheating on her. Then that little boys friend is telling her to get back with him ... Then she was talking to a 14 year old....her grandma brought her this tablet I let her have it to play games..never thought she would be talking to boys ..

Jodi - posted on 05/01/2015

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Why would you allow your 10 year old unsupervised access on the internet?????

Spanking? No, that's not teaching her anything. Removing the tablet from her possession, as well as any other internet access she may have, would be a far more sensible thing to do. No 10 year old needs to have unsupervised access to a tablet or the internet.

Dove - posted on 04/30/2015

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Why the heck would you spank her?! Take away her tablet and TALK to her. What exactly did you find that upset you?

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