My daughter just left home

Mandy - posted on 12/23/2013 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My 19 yr old daughter left home the weekend and I can't stop crying, my heart aches for her, I just won't to go n get her m bring her home how long will this pain last

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Cc - posted on 12/25/2013

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Have you thought about counseling? It's a good thing that she left for a positive reason; to start a family. It's normal to miss a child who leaves the home, but it's not healthy to cry uncontrollably and feel sick over it. You could benefit from talking to someone through this time to help you transition into a new chapter in life. It's good to contact her to make sure she is okay, but be careful not to put guilt on her for leaving or to have her worry too much about you as she now has her own family to worry about.
If this is really bad and you feel like hurting yourself, you should really talk to someone about it, ASAP. I don't know if I'm pulling things out of thin air, but you never know what others are feeling and leaving out when they post things on here. Depression (even circumstantial/due to a recent event) is real and can be really harmful to a person's life. Good luck, and if you want to message me, feel free.

Jean - posted on 12/28/2013

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Mandy
That happened to me 4 months ago. I was crying every day and night. I got help because the crying was not changing anything. My friends kept telling me to take care of myself. It is the best advice anyone could have given me. If you are not healthy and happy you can not deal with her and have a healthy relationship. Take one day at a time, go see a doctor and make an appointment for counseling. I did all of those and feel much better. Some days I still cry, especially when I am around her. But when I don't see her for a while I get back to myself. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! What else has helped me a lot is I journal a letter to my daughter without sending it. It allows me to tell her what I am feeling and thinking without really telling her. Hang in there! It is the hardest thing emotionally I have been through in my life! Your feelings are real. Just take care of you . She will be fine!

Mandy - posted on 12/26/2013

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Hi cc, thanks for your kind words, I'm feeling better, I had a good cry with my daughter Xmas eve and explained to her I'm happy that she is making a life for herself but sad that it's an end to the chapter we he had etc n I think as it was on top of Xmas too it didn't help , she spent Xmas day n eve with me n our family and she said that even though she had moved out she would always have time to chat meet or just call round for coffee, things will Chang but not in a bad way , her words helped me see I ant losing her , I still feel a bit sad n shed a tear but I see light, maybe I'm just having a good day n maybe later I'll be a wreck but I'll try n stay poss with the words she said to me , iv told her I won't see her till Sunday , so will see how I feel, will try keep busey . As don't won't to push her away or bug her .

Mandy - posted on 12/24/2013

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Thanks Evelyn I do get what u r saying and I would say that exact thing to someone else but right now all that is saying to me at the mo is get on with it n let her be. N really I can't ATM . She is my best friend and my world we did so much together . She has only left home as she fell pregnent or she would still be here . She loves her boyfriend n he is ok , the pain is unreal n at points I just won't to curl up n die , iv bn told this will pass , but ATM it's hard to even think about the next few hrs is this just greving or should I seek help

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Leela - posted on 12/26/2013

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Mandy I have never seen someone react as strongly as you have to their child growing up. I agree with Cc - you need counseling as well as some other life interests. Your daughter is bringing a new being into your life that you can love. Be happy and support her. Most importantly take this time to determine who you are besides being her mother.

Only1Chance - posted on 12/24/2013

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I cant imagine how much it hurts, BUT sense the day our kids were born it has been the goal to raise them for this, so they can grow & live out in this world without us holding their hand any more. Im all for still giving her great advice & wisdom but, she will take all you've taught her and now live it. I also I noticed that you said her boyfriend, Id strongly encourage them to get married. Premarital sex is a sin against God, I too was living with my boyfriend (now my husband) @ 19 until his dad got angry with us & said we had promised if we lived in his house together we'd have to marryso we did & @ tht moment hated the fact tht we had to listen to him because I didn't understand fully I was sinning against God & that was not His will that we were living together w/out being married. Thats the best decision ive ever made!!! I have yet to thank his father for that. Plus remember the song 1st comes love, then come marriage then comes a baby in a baby carriage!! Check out statistics for married couples & couples who cohabitate its a higher chance of notmaking it. This is no accident y? Because God is PERFECT HE made marriage 1st 1man 1woman to marry multiply and fill the earth! To break it down when God says Thou shall NOT... He always gives examples ALL THROUGHOUT THE BIBLE THE CONSEQUENCES. I pray for the best for you & your daughter & family. May God Bless you you sound like your a great mom you love your daughter soooo very much!! Oh and congratulations on becoming a grandmother!! Wow your soo BLESSED!!! I hope I can make it to see my grandchildren one day, my oldest is 5 :-) lol.

Ev - posted on 12/24/2013

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Mandy-

SHe is an adult and as much as it hurts us to watch our kids make the choice to leave home, they can. She has to spread her wings and live life on her own and make her choices, mistakes, and learn. You can not do it for her anymore. The more you dwell on this the more it will hurt. Its not like she did something to hurt your feelings or to make you upset. She is doing what comes naturally. Your own parents had to learn to let go of you too and it was not easy for them either. Instead of dwelling on the pain or how much you are going to miss her; find something to fill your time. I have done that and it helps a great deal. Volunteer time at the boys and girls club or in a church where kids have activities. Find a new hobby. Let her live her life. Once she gets herself settled she will come back to you and you two can build a new level in your relationship.

Mandy - posted on 12/23/2013

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My daughter is due to have a baby in March , her and her boyfriend have bn together 4 yrs now, about 2 month ago they decided they won't to look for a place to live of there own, which I was ok about at the time, over the weeks they found a place n began to buy bits etc n they got a moving in date which was 21st dec, I still was kind of ok with this, she moved sat morning and sat night bam it has hit me like a train my baby has gone. I can't sleep, feel sick , I'm doing everything to stop myself from dragging her home , I have rang her a lot n she knows how I am feeling but I don't won't her to get fed up of me badgering her as it's me that ant coping with her leaving

Mandy - posted on 12/23/2013

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My daughter is due to have a baby in March , her and her boyfriend have bn together 4 yrs now, about 2 month ago they decided they won't to look for a place to live of there own, which I was ok about at the time, over the weeks they found a place n began to buy bits etc n they got a moving in date which was 21st dec, I still was kind of ok with this, she moved sat morning and sat night bam it has hit me like a train my baby has gone. I can't sleep, feel sick , I'm doing everything to stop myself from dragging her home , I have rang her a lot n she knows how I am feeling but I don't won't her to get fed up of me badgering her as it's me that ant coping with her leaving

Joseph Mwangi - posted on 12/23/2013

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Well,what happened?it would be important so that we can be sure we are providing the right kind of guidance

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