My daughter met an online friend in person!?

Sandra - posted on 12/18/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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She has ADHD and is in 6th grade, 11 YO. I just found out that she's been making a fake account on Instagram with the help of my friend's daughter who's two years older than she is. The 13 YO's mom, whom I have known since high school, has found out and her daughter said that my child insisted that she let her use her phone to make the Instagram account and it lasted for two weeks. She has trouble making friends her own age at school, is very immature, childish, and sometimes does not understand what's appropriate behavior during certain times. She has also seen a therapist due to her struggles at school. I have read all the messages, and she's been exchanging messages to a "kid" that was a girl at her age from another school in our district area. She confessed that she uses the iPads at the school library to talk to her and they agreed to meet in person because they found out that their schools were playing against each other. It did actually turn out to be a girl her age had told my daughter on the social media that "her parents would punish her if they were to ever find out". I put my daughter to some extra counseling time, talked to her why the Internet is not safe and it's NEVER okay to meet up with anyone without me knowing first and I will have to approve, she is not mature and responsible enough for social media and more importantly - she is never to meet up with anyone ever again. First time was a big risk, but did turn out fine for her but there will never be a second time. I also showed her some young children who was lured to meeting online strangers on online articles and how they were kidnapped, dead, raped, etc. and why it's absolutely very dangerous. She isn't allowed to be online again, I also called the school and they will not allow her any online access. I understand that she's an only child and is lonely at home and that she has trouble being friends with her classmates and wanted to find a friend but I told her anyway that it's no excuse and that she made a big risk. I am very upset about what she did - how else do I talk to her!?

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Sandra - posted on 12/19/2015

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Yes, the therapist has suggested on learning activities w/ her peers who don't go to the same school as her in community centers, camps, and sports teams, etc. She blows off her chances of making friends by acting immature and blurts out inappropriate questions/comments during the activity and also in school.
I'm thankful that the person whom she communicated w/ is actually a CHIlD in person, and not a pedophile. I am also still angry and upset that she agreed to meet someone in person without my permission, and opening up a social media account without me checking first - clearly, I would've said no to both. She has also been asking me that I always warn her about online dangers, but then how come she's actually been chatting w/ a child w/ common interests and is about her age? I have said this over: Sometimes people tell the truth about themselves, sometimes they claim to be someone they're not. Some people are adults who have bad intentions to harm young children. POSSIBLY, the kid who she has made friends w/ might've had the same intentions as her to make some online friends and meant no harm and that this girl risked her life to meet up w/ my child just like my own child did.
I also have put a password in our home computer, she can't access it without me or her father knowing first and the only reason for her to be on it is to do schoolwork.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/18/2015

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Sounds like you handled it well so far, Sandra.

At this point, Id also ask the therapist if there are any group situations that may help?

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