my daughter thinks she has to be held all the time or she screams i can't take anymore pls help.
Joanna - posted on 10/22/2009
Many babies are like that. My girl was like that for her first 3 months (of course she had colic so I had to hold her at all times, rocking her, etc). I invested in a Moby wrap which helped free up my hands. But I'd expected the first few months to be that way, and if it weren't for the all day crying (thanks colic), I would have enjoyed it very much. But when the crying stopped she didn't want to be held that much, she was very independent (crawling at 4 1/2 months, cruising at 7 month, walking at 8 1/2 months). I wish she wanted to be held more!!
Jennifer - posted on 10/22/2009
I would suggest trying to soothe her without picking her up. Sit beside her on the floor or wherever she is best able to see you, and talk to her. Once she is settled then I would pick her up, this way she will learn that she is not being picked up because she is crying. Whatever course of action you decide to choose, give it time, and be consistent. Each day will get a little bit easier, for both of you.
I'm very new at mommyhood, my baby is only one month, but I do have a suggestion. Check out a video called The Happiest Baby on the Block. I just saw it for the first time last night and I'm already applying a few techniques. It's a pediatrician walking you through techniques to calm fussy babies. There's also a book, but it doesn't have good reviews.
Karena - posted on 10/22/2009
This is from the Dr sears website.
Babywearing means changing your mindset of what babies are really like. New parents often envision babies as lying quietly in a crib, gazing passively at dangling mobiles and picked up and carried only to be fed and played with and then put down. You may think that "up" periods are just dutiful intervals to quiet you baby long enough to put him down again. Babywearing reverses this view. Carry your baby in a sling many hours a day, and then put her down for sleep times and tend to your personal needs.
Anthropologists who travel throughout the world studying infant-care practices in other cultures agree that infants in babywearing cultures cry much less. In Western culture we measure a baby's crying in hours, but in other cultures, crying is measured in minutes. We have been led to believe that it is "normal" for babies to cry a lot, but in other cultures this is not accepted as the norm. In these cultures, babies are normally "up" in arms and are put down only to sleep – next to the mother. When the parent must attend to her own needs, the baby is in someone else's arms.
My advice is to let her work it out. If you keep giving in to her demands to be held all the time you are going to foster worse issues down the road. As hard as it may be walk away and let her work out her issues. If she is old enough to comprehend tell her I am not going to pick you up b/c .... let her know that you will be there for her but that she doesnt have to be held all the time.
Karena - posted on 10/22/2009
I would also suggest some type of carrier; a sling, wrap, a Beco. Something that you can "wear" your baby in. some babies have a higher need to be held and while this can be frustrating for you, it maybe that your baby truly has a strong need for that kind of contact with you. Check out the link, it has info about types of carriers and benefits and how to use the different types of carriers.
Brittany - posted on 10/22/2009
I have had the same issue, but when her father gets home he will not pick her up if she is crying for no reason he says that she needs to appreciate being held. Of course we dont let it get out of hand once she sits for a few minutes he picks her up and she is perfectly fine to be set back down.also my daughter was constipated which we got that fixed but then she was still really fussy for no reason, the dr told us to try switching her formula, we did that a few days ago and she has been so happy! I would be lost with out her bouncer if you dont have one get one and try it.. it has vibrate and obviously bounces! best of luck
Lydia - posted on 10/22/2009
my daughter is pretty fussy for no reason. She will be fed, clean and awake but she wants me to hold her most of the time. About a month ago I purchased a moby wrap. You can get one on the internet just google moby wrap. There are all sorts of ways you can wear your child. It has been a LIFESAVER for us. She loves it! It has really cut down on the crying and I can have my hands free to do other things around the house. I even wear her when we go out to eat. Also, when she falls alseep in it, I can usually just slip her out of it and lay her in her basinet and she stays asleep! Plus there are many advantages to baby-wearing. You can look that up too on google if you are interested!
Mylisia - posted on 10/22/2009
well I am going to start off buy saying I know how you feel my daughter was like that to the point where she would not sleep unless she was in my armsmy advise to you would be just let him cry I know it hurts and you want to pick him up but sonner or latter he will get the hint he has to entertain himself and he will stop in a couple days now i dont mean lets him cry for hours but dont pick him up every time he crys or whines for you. and belive me it will work
Dawn - posted on 10/22/2009
how big /old is she? if she's still a toddler and under 40 pounds you can try getting one of those slings. my son went through that until he was about a year old. turns out he had fluid in his ears and was getting chronic ear infections. after we had the tubes put in he was much better. have you tried asking the dr? there could be an underlying issue and that's why she wants to be held? i'm just guessing.
i hope things get better for you...i know how hard it is when you just want 5 minutes to yourself!!
Kim - posted on 10/22/2009
How old is your baby? None the less, it can be frustrating b/c you can't get a lot of stuff done w/a baby in tow but enjoy it now b/c one day she will want to be w/her friends over her mom and you will wish to have these days back. I believe you can spoil your children w/all the stuff but you can never spoil them with too much love and affection.
Candice - posted on 10/22/2009
my son does that too ... if its getting to be to much have a family member or friend take her for a few hours so that you can mellow out and have a break... also invest in one of those baby carriers to that if she really will not let you put her down at all at least you have your hands free.... and i pick my son up when he cries but if he just does it continuesly i let him cry it out for a few minutes.. he tends to settle down wen he knows that im not going to come runnning.. more or less i guess give your daughter the attention she wants but dont let it get carried away or she'll never want to be put down . hope this helped :D
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