My daughter wants to move out

Angela - posted on 08/25/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am a divorced mom of 4 who has been in a lesbian relationship for the past 5 years. My partner is not what you would call the motherly type. She doesn't really hug them or show affection. She does fuss quite a bit and complains about them cleaning up all of the time. I have always been a neat person and for the most part my kids keep their rooms clean. The younger two share a small room so it's hard for them to even play. My son has a small room but she put the dogs on the room with him and demands he keep it near perfect because it's so close to the kitchen. It's an add on room that served as an office before that has no door.
My 18 year old can't wait to find her own place. My partner criticizes everything she does. Recently, she wanted me to make her and my son pay for their insurance and cell phones which is about 150 per month for each of them. They make minimum wage at part time jobs. I think it's a bit much but my partner is livid if they are late or say they don't have it.
She complains that we don't have money for anything as if that is all of their fault.
I make decent money but she doesn't. She likes to shop and eat out a lot.
I am so torn. I don't want my daughter to leave. I want her to be able to save her money and attend college.
I am frankly sick of my partner's attitude. I am so stressed behind this.
I think our relationship is unhealthy but I don't even know where to begin to correct this mess.

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Angela - posted on 08/25/2016

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She was not always that way. She was extremely nice to my children. She always complemented the way I raised my children and went as far as to say that she wished that her mother would have been more like me.
There was an incident when my daughter went on Facebook and called her a name and after that things went down hill. I admit I saw some red flags and in hindsight, I know I ignored them.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/25/2016

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You settled for a partner that had no interest in your children, and you wonder why your daughter wants out?

I'm not surprised. Why would you settle for someone that would treat your children any differently than you do? Was this a rebound relationship?

I have zero understanding of women who settle for substandard relationships and force their kids into them. If you don't want the rest of your kids to have issues, I'd get rid of the girlfriend now, or at the very least move into a separate home. Its no different than if you'd moved in with a guy that treats your kids like shit...WHY would you even contemplate the move, knowing beforehand that your partner isn't a good match?

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