My daughter was accepted at a college 5 hours away. She has mixed feelings about going. She is very close with her pets as well as her boyfriend of 4 years. I realize it is a wonderful experience to go away to college. But at the same time I was away at college and missed my boyfriend so much that my grades dropped and I did eventually leave. I took courses at a community college but never got a degree. I tell my daughter she will be fine. We will visit. She can come home for visits. Her boyfriend also is encouraging her to go. He tells her she will love it and have so much fun. I'm torn what to tell her. Any advice?

Virginia - posted on 01/25/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughter was accepted at a college 5 hours away. While she is happy about it she flip flops and says I don't want to go. She says she will miss her pets and her boyfriend of 4 years. She gets very emotional. I never told her but I was away at school and missed my boyfriend so much that it was all I could think about. My grades began to drop then I dropped classes to ease the load. I never finished. I came home and took classes at a comm college. I tell my daughter that she will be fine. We will visit and she will be home for visits. Her boyfriend tells her the same. And he tells her that she will love it and have so much fun. I don't know really the best way to handle this. Do I Force her to go and risk what happened to me and she never gets a degree? This was her first choice college. The closest school to us with her major is 4 hours away. Please give advice.

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Ariana - posted on 01/26/2013

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How long is the degree she is going for? I would tell her to try it out for the year and see how it goes. If after going for a year it's just to much apply for a program closer to where you live. She may find she's fine there, or she might even find she actually is interested in doing a different program, one that is available near to where you live.

It's always scary to go through a big life change. It ultimately is up to her. Tell her you understand either way on what she wants to do, but it might be good to try and go for a year and see what happens. That's the only way to know if she'll really be able to do it.

Cecilia - posted on 01/26/2013

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First your daughter isn't you. Just because you dropped out doesn't mean she will. Stop putting your own fears onto her. You might not tell her what you're thinking but you're thinking it. Let her go without any reservations. She might turn out fine, she might not but it's up to her. I'm sure her b/f plans on visiting. Let her go experience the world.

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