My daughter was moleted by MY best friends Father....

Jeanette - posted on 09/30/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

2

0

1

I am really feeling lost. My daugher told us 3 months ago that she was molested by an extrmely close family friends , father, her best friends grandfather. Over a month ago an arrrest warrent was written up by the detective and we have heard nothing. This scum has had since July to make up excuses, move, do anything. The issues are it happened two years ago. But I am glad she told, made a lot of things make sense and now we can support her. She is in therapy. THere is no physical evidence which is good and bad. I am GRATEFUL she was able to prevent him from violating her in ways that would leave evidence. Our friends knew because we were in shock and called them, then we were told 3 days later we can not talk to them since it was a family member of theors even though he did not licve there, it happened there. We love EXTREMELY CLOSE. SO one reason myh daughter did not tell was because she did not want to lose her friends, and well for now at least she did and it may be forever or never be the same. My friends reaction after her husband told her I do not know, I know 20 miniutes later she called me, we were all with the therapiust, I ran there once I was told and I just couldnt speak I was crying so my husband picked up, she was crying, apologizing and saying she believed our daughter. There are mixed reviews on her reaction, many feel she knew or knew he was capable of it. Then theres the fact she has known my daughter for 8 years and everyon knew how much my daighter and a million other kids loved my friends Dad. No reason to make this up, too much for my daughter to lose. The forensic interview I was tolsd went EXTREMELY WELL, DCF, the counclor and Detective were all amazed and believed every word. HEr story has not waivered one time, not one detail. We feel isolated with them living on the same block, never had a chance to talk face to face, do not sleep at night and am just waiting for something to happen. I know there are far worse things goiong on and she is out of harms way and it happened 2 yrs ago but this feels like torture. He refused to come oin for an interview, what does that tell you...... Cops think she was not his forst, I provided a list of all kids I knew he was around but they can not contact them or I until he is arrested. I worry there is another kid out there hiding this secret and suffering and honestly if there are more, it will help my daughter, I am praying though he was a one in a million statistic and did this once. I am in therapy and I have friends but most I can not tell due to "slander". I feel alone. My husnabd is a wreck, hasnt slept through the night since 1st week in July, we all lost friends, we were all closer than family and that could be gone. I just feel alone. I know I Am not but it feels that way

4 Comments

View replies by

Sarah - posted on 10/01/2015

9,445

0

22

Raye, I am so sorry to hear your story. I think it was about 20 years before I started to feel more in control. But I did go to therapy. My gynecologist suggested it as I kept telling her I did not enjoy intimacy etc. Probably why I was able to hold out until I met my hubby. Thank goodness there are better anti-stalking laws in place today!

Raye - posted on 10/01/2015

3,761

0

21

I was sexually assaulted right before HS graduation by my on-again-off-again boyfriend of 3-1/2 years. We had just broken up for good, and he realized that this time was the final time, and he broke into the house and attacked me. I moved and he then ended up stalking me for weeks trying to find out where I lived, waiting for me after my college classes, showing up where he knew my friends would be and where I might be. I never pressed charges because I just wanted him to go away. Finally he did move away. But I never really got any closure. Only now, nearly 25 years later, I am beginning to feel less affected by it. I didn't have help to get through what happened to me. Your daughter does. It should be better for her now that she's opened up about it and the man can at least be investigated and hopefully pay for his crime. Keep trying to help your daughter, and help the police in any way you can to prosecute that monster. I wish your family the best of luck.

Sarah - posted on 09/30/2015

9,445

0

22

The agony your family is going thru must be almost unbearable. come here and vent. Let it all out. You can be anonymous here. You have done 100% right by your child and told everyone you need to tell. As much as you worry for other kids, that is the police's responsibility to arrest him so he cannot continue. Support your child. Let her open up when she feels ready and be there when she needs you. A good counselor will help her process this was not her fault and help guide her to having a healthy relationship life in the future. I view myself as a recovered victim of a sex offender. he no longer has power over me and I am in control of my life and my feelings. My prayers go to you....and your child. I hope he rots in jail where he belongs. My assailant was never prosecuted. I hope differently in your case

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms