My daughter was raped by my younger brother

Sandra L - posted on 01/28/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My daughter who is now 17 years old was raped by my younger brother who I help take care of since he was 8 years old. He hurt my little girl for almost 6 full years and I cant help but blame myself for not knowing or seeing any signs.I hate him but I love him and I feel guilty for feeling anything for him. He is in prison now and I am so thankful for that. How do I let go of feeling guilty for something I did not know as happening? This all came out about 2 years ago when she was almost 15 years old and I still cry all the time and my heart just aches. It is even hard for me to look at any pictures of my daughter when she was young because it hurts to know she was being hurt in a way that is so digusting.

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S. - posted on 01/28/2013

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Things like this leave more victims them we all think, your dealing with a whole load of emotions and as painful as it is to talk about you need deal with it, locking it away will only eat you up. My heart goes out to you.

Ariana - posted on 01/28/2013

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It does sound very hard to talk about but you definitely should reenter councelling. You can tell them you're having a difficult time talking about things and see what they suggest you can do to figure things out. Everything takes time, you should do it at your own pace, but having someone to talk to would really help.

Sandra L - posted on 01/28/2013

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Yes I have gone to councelling but stopped since it was just to hard to talk about. I know I need to but it just hurst so bad.

Ariana - posted on 01/28/2013

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Have you sought councelling over this?

This is a really terrible situation to be in for all of you. It's ok to love your brother, and it's ok to hate him for what he did. You can't be expected to push all the love you've built over years and years, especially if you helped raise him, even if he did act horrendously.

I would seek to find a councellor to deal with these complex emotions.

We all make mistakes, but my bet is you truly did not realize what was going on and you cannot beat yourself up over it. If there WERE signs and you didn't realize, or just didn't think it was possible own that but still do not obsess over it.

I'm so sorry that happened to her and to all of you. Hopefully all of you will be able to heal from this point.

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