my daughter was seriously hurt at kindy, wont send her back there, where to from here?

Amanda - posted on 02/22/2011 ( 32 moms have responded )

6

7

0

last week my daughter was seriously hurt at kindy, my daughter ended up in hospital, and her injurys were in her vagina area, i DO NOT think anything of sexual nature happened, it was an accident! but i was given 2 different stories by the teacher as to wot happened, protocol was not followed (i was not contacted, my daughter was bleeding heavily, the injury bein in the vagina was not noted in accident log book, and only the teacher involved knew it happened, she did not notify even the other teachers, and she took my child to toilet wit noone else present, and claimed she checked for injury) i have been to kindy association but have been given unacceptable answers such as, it was pack up time which is a busy time, and it was only 10-15mins b4 i was due to pick my child up anyway! i got police involved, they can not lay criminal charges, so that ends their investigation, have asked association has action been taken, ie has the teacher received written warning..... they can not tell me that info as its an employment issue. there is so much going on because of this, its quite stressful, and fustrating. thank god my daughter is healin quite well, but she is still very bruised, swollen and sore. i am trying to also figure out how to move on from this for my daughter, but the teacher involved is still teaching at the kindy, and as other accidents have apparently happened, and other parents r complaining, i do not feel like my daughter is safe there! the way and length of time the association have delt wit this leaves me not wanting my child anywhere near their kindys at all! and as silly as i know it might b, i think it might b a while b4 i feel comfortable leaving my daughter in the care of anyone but me! I AM AT A LOSS! WHAT DO I DO NOW?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

Hey Amanda, I'm Nikki's ece friend from NZ. I would contact your local Ministry of Education office and put in a formal complaint, include doctors reports so that they realise how serious it is, and also include a detailed list of your correspondence (eg phone calls, conversations) with the kindy and the association. If your local branch doesn't do anything, go to the national office. Their webpage is www.moe.govt.nz, that has all the phone numbers (under the 'contact' tab in the top right hand corner). Hope this helps!

Renae - posted on 02/23/2011

2,209

23

156

You know what I would do? I would get straight on the phone to my lawyer and start scaring them the crap out of them with threats of bad media, law suits and anything the lawyer could throw at them!

You could also try calling social services or child protection and tell them you need help getting some answer/action, maybe they can help.

Sneaky - posted on 02/22/2011

1,170

33

131

Get a lawyer NOW!



Tell everyone (kindy, the kindy association, EVERYONE) that all reports and communication with you and your family is to go through your lawyer. That all by itself may generate some action, and if not, then you can explore your options - I will point out, if the police say they can not file criminal charges then your only legal recourse is to file a civil claim. But if this was my daughter, who has suffered a traumatic injury to the most sensitive part of her body and may well have sexual issues later as a result (she might NOT, it will depend how much she remembers and is able to process about the incident) then I would be suing their asses. Both the teacher and the knidy itself, after all, if the kindy can not guarantee that their teachers will follow their own procedures, what else could this teacher (and other teachers) have been doing to students?????



BTW, I am an Aussie, so no one has to suggest that I am a money hungry American :o)



EDITED TO ADD: Sorry, it has come to my attention that some people have been offended by my 'money hungry American' comment. I did not mean to offend anyone (especially my American friends). There does seem to be a stereotype that American's are obsessed with litigation and I was trying to avoid that, since I feel litigation may help produce actual results in this situation. Again, sorry.

[deleted account]

Was your daughter able to tell you how she got hurt?

I can't think of one single thing that should be at a school or any event that could possibly happen at a school setting that could cause that type of injury.

NOT trying to make you feel worse about it or anything, but I just don't get what could have possibly happened to her that would NOT be a reason to cause serious problems for this school.... or at least that teacher.

[deleted account]

Amanda first and formost I am so sorry to hear about your daughter's injury. i know accidents happen but this type of injury does not sound normal to me. For a child to get injured that severely there was defintely some neglect or abuse on someone's part wether it be the teacher or an assistant or even another child. I appologize if I am out of line. In this situation, if it were my daughter, I would most definately be seeking legal advice(I am not a sue happy individual but when people are not forthcoming with information on how a child was injued we've got problems). And don't even think for a minute you are overreacting and blowing this out of proportion. School is supposed to be a safe place for children to learn and flourish. Again i am so sorry for your daughter.

32 Comments

View replies by

Tina - posted on 05/19/2011

1,314

28

301

Glad she's healing well, certainly hope you get somewhere with this. An employment issue. What a lame excuss. Your daughter was the one injured you should be entitled to answers.

Tah - posted on 05/19/2011

7,412

22

400

If my child came home with an injury like this and everyone played stupid, they'd have black and blue genky's themselves after I put on my boots and started kicked everyone between the legs....this is a mess. Have you found anything out as of yet.

[deleted account]

Glad to hear your daughter is on the mend. I think that is crap that they won't tell you what disciplinary action was taken against the teacher(s).I feel it is your right to know what action was taken. Best of luck with the investigation.

Amanda - posted on 03/03/2011

6

7

0

thank u everyone very much for your comments. my daughter has reinacted wot happened for me, as far as she is concerned, she was riding the ironing board like a horesy!! so i do believe it was an accident, and the surgeons report says there was no obvious vaginal injury, it was a (official words) small haematoma with flap type laceration to right labia minora with well vascularised flap which appears to be healing, and small contusion to right vaginal introitus. basically, a cut and sever bruising. last week i had no joy with the general manager of the kindy so i went to the head of the association and was actually given the same answers as before, it was busy, and they thort i was heading to kindy anyway, again i said thats just not good enough, and i keep bein told sorry u feel that way, i still have no explaination as to why the general manager knew about my daughters accident on the day it happened but did nothing until i started to complain (2 days l8r) and i asked if any action was going to be taken ie written warning etc.... was told they could not discuss that with me as its an employment issue, so again i asked for a written report so i could see myself what they did to investigate this, the head of the association assured me i would get it at the begining of this week. well its friday weeks over and still nothing. i have reported this to osh and have been in contact with the media, who have asked me to write up a letter as to what my story is and they will look at it. so i am now spending my weekend writing up a letter to email thru to the media. i feel like i am now bein dicked around, but i am a persistant person, and the fact that its about my daughter drives my motivation, i will not give up until i get reasonable answers, at the very least a formal apology, and know that some action has been taken so the teacher and general manager have taken responsibility for their actions (or lack of actions) thank u all for your support, at this time i truely needed to know im not the only one who would do this and feels this way. my daughter is healing very well thank u all for asking, she is now bored wit being at home, she does not mind so much not going back to that kindy, but has actually asked "we going to new kindy" im not sure how to respond to that yet, but know i have to do something for her soon, so am lookin at other options of playgroup at school.

Sonia - posted on 02/24/2011

2

8

0

omg... i hope your daughter is doing better!!! I cant believe they wont tell you how she got hurt!! Have you asked your daughter what happend and what did the Teacher do? What i dont get either is how hard did she fall....i hope you get some answers..cuz i would be raising hell for them if they couldnt tell me what exactly happend...i understand how they might of not seen cuz so much goes on and they cant keep there eyes just on one child but for them not to call you right away is weird....

Sneaky - posted on 02/23/2011

1,170

33

131

I am also curious as to what your daughters doctors and nurses said - they obviously would be in a position to see lots of strange injuries, did they suggest possible causes? I would also assume, that as professionals, if they suspected that your daughter had been abused they would have already reported it to the relevant authorities.

Renae - posted on 02/23/2011

2,209

23

156

"Fell over an ironing board"???? What the hell?? That is not good enough. I would like somebody to please reenact for me exactly how you fall over an ironing board and end up with a bruised black clitorus????? I dont like this at all. It is not making any sense. How dare they treat your daughter with such disregard! Please let us know if you get anywhere.

Get on the phone to a news station that does public interest stories, in my state in Australia we have Today Tonight and A Current Affair, you would have something similar, I would be yelling at the top of my lungs to anyone who would listen. I guarantee you will get an investigation if you get the media involved.

Sally - posted on 02/23/2011

7

1

2

You poor things that is absolutley the most horriblist thing i have heard in a while about a kindy place. I would not go back there at all but if the police and the association arent doing anything im not sure what you can do. what did the hospital say about the injury were they suspicious at all?

Chelsea - posted on 02/23/2011

711

45

33

many state have online public schools, which is what i am planning on doing with my daughter rather then the typical homeschooling or public, private school. We plan on using K12 public school, you couls look it up online as for what is going on with the teacher i havent any advise but i dont blame you for being uncomfortable with sending her there or anywhere else

Kimberly - posted on 02/23/2011

139

32

30

Another thing, like it was mentioned before, child services do look into things like that if a complaint was made...They do it for child daycares 2...They will do an investigation and interviews for straight answers and something will b done about it and if the teachers at fault for the situation then its possible that she wont be allowed to work with young children again or they may at least get help for the classroom (if they find it an unstable environment)...May not be the best of help but it would b worth a shot.

Erica - posted on 02/23/2011

48

7

0

I hope your daughter is doing better, for me, tripping over an iron board is ...weird....maybe your daughter can act out what happened?? ask her if it was an iron board....but to have that kind of injury....is just wow-- I would be seeking legal advice and trying to get some ACTUAL answers...Good luck!

Katherine - posted on 02/23/2011

65,420

232

5193

She fell over an ironing board? OUCH!

I hope everything works out and I hope justice is served.

[deleted account]

First, i hope your daughter is doing well now and over the injury.
Report the Kindergarten and have the staff and placement investigated to determine if there fit to be in business and care for your children..
Very happy you are taking action, as parents its our right to report placements like this kindergarten for failure to do there jobs correctly, especially when there caring for our children.:-)best of luck to you & your daughter and i hope you get closure on this matter to your satisfaction.

Amanda - posted on 02/22/2011

6

7

0

thank u very much everyone for your comments, just to clarify, i was told she fell over the ironing board, that is the accident, the teacher said she was running away from pack up time and fell over, hurt her fanny, but she checked her and my daughter went toilet, and was fine... later while at the 1st hospital (we were referred from middlemore to starship childrens hospital) the teacher called me saying she doesnt even know wot happened, she had her back turned to tend to other kids, and cheyanne was screaming, big drama!! (and as far as i was told by aka that is the teachers official statement) i can and do understand an accident! as far as my daughter has said (she is only 4) she fell over and cried! and blood from her nono (our term for vagina) wot i dont understand is the lack of procedure, and why the 2 stories? and why has no action been taken. thank u for your advice i have spoken to a few of the parents who themselves have stopped takin their children and written complaints to, and we have just started talkin about goin to ministry of education. i have noted conversations, but at the time my mind was not set on gettin evidence, it was makin sure my child was ok! but am gettin documents together now, and have been considering lawyers.

Iridescent - posted on 02/22/2011

4,519

272

1080

Also, if there is a social services department, report it there. You are allowed to file reports regarding your own children when someone ELSE hurts them, just like others can when you are suspected of hurting your child. I did this when the school abandoned my child; the police were unable to file criminal charges, but it was left open so I could file civil charges; social services found the person guilty of maltreatment and neglect of a minor and on any social services background check it will come back.

Kimberly - posted on 02/22/2011

139

32

30

Bless her heart!!! That is HORRIBLE!!! I have a 5 yr. old daughter who is in the pre-k program and I can't imagine how I would feel if something happened to her and I wasn't notified and procedures werent followed...Especially when it is in a sensitive area like that...It's a very good thing she was taken to the dr. and that it was reported to save u some accusations of sexual abuse later but ur daughter should not have had to suffer like that when the teacher knew what happened...I agree with Tracey on getting a lawyer...If it is sooo hectic n the classroom then maybe the teacher needs and assistant to help her out...I would def. keep records and file a written petition with all of the other parents complaints along with any medical bills sustaining from the injuries that the children may have occurred...It may be possible that with a good amount of complaints they would hold a meeting...(keep original documents and signatures for yourself and ur lawyer if u decide to get one and give COPIES so in case they "lose" the papers then you wont have to get all the signatures again, seeing how it can get frustrating)...It's likely that ur child may be scared to even go back (and I wouldnt blame her one bit) so keeping her home with you sounds like a good idea until everything is sorted out...I cant even imagine what happened in order to cause severe damage like this & I hate the thought of a child being in pain...Hope ur brave little one gets better soon and Good Luck!!!

Nikki - posted on 02/22/2011

5,263

41

573

My friend said to contact the ministry of education. Make sure you write records of everything that has happened and any conversations you have had with staff and management. Good luck

Nikki - posted on 02/22/2011

5,263

41

573

That's terrible you poor thing. You should have been called to pick up your daughter at the time of the incident. Make sure you get copies of the incident reports.

In Australia, this would fall under the jurisdiction of Department of communities, which is a government agency which deals with licensing child care centres, ensuring they are safe and investigating serious illness or incidents. I would check on your local government websites to see if NZ has something similar.

I have a friend who is a kindy teacher in NZ, I will ask her if she has the details of who you would need to contact.

Tina - posted on 02/22/2011

1,314

28

301

i completely understand that my son is too young to go yet but i dread it. i just don't trust other people with my kids. It contradicts the whole stranger danger thing. Get together with the other parents and do what ever it takes to get answers. It's a serious injury and regardless of how busy they were or whatever. it should been handles better and someone should be able to give you a clear answer as to what happened. Definately try family services or something like that. It really annoys me when people don't take things more seriously when children are hurt. I feel for you. Has your daughter been able to tell you what happened.

Isobel - posted on 02/22/2011

9,849

0

286

I was riding a bike with a plastic seat once and the seat broke...I'll leave it at that. These types of accidents CAN happen, but I am shocked that an ambulance wasn't called, or that a teacher says she didn't see blood when you say the amount was substantial.

Has she told you about what happened?

Katherine - posted on 02/22/2011

65,420

232

5193

Ok so let me get this straight.....they can't even tell you WHAT happened to your daughter???

It sounds like she impaled herself on something!!! That is utter BS and I really feel for you.
I'm in the states and if anything like that happened here, well wow, just wow.

Amanda - posted on 02/22/2011

6

7

0

@ amanda... it is a kindergerten, under auckland kindergarten association, i am sure its answerable to ministry of education (here in nz) they did send someone to investigate but not till fri (accident happened wed) i was not satisfied wit the so called investigation by kindregarten association (via manager) so contacted head of association and they seem to b of the same opinion that it has been delt wit, and @ emma i stipulated all these points of protocol not bein followed to the head of the association and still i have no acceptable answer, and the teacher is still there wit as far as i no, not even a warning. i am still seeking help to deal wit this thru other avenues, but all this is a process and it is takin time. also the teacher says my daughter was fine, she did not c any blood, and the surgeon admits it might not have bled straight away, the fact is they made my daughter sit there for at least 10-15mins after she was hurt, and it was actually very serious, i cant explain the amount of blood, even the nurses were shocked! and my daughter only stopped bleedin around mon (so 6 days of bleeding) officially my daughter has a lasseration on the right side of the inner part of her vagina and she has sever bruising (her clitorus is still black and swollen) all of this is such a process and its hard trying to get this sorted, let alone get back to our lives, i will keep fighting until something is done,(for the next couple of weeks my daughter will need to b home to heal) but in the mean time i have my 4yr old at home, i had her in kindy for the reasons of social interaction wit other kids, preparation of school etc... now my daughter is missing out on such advantages, they have offered me a transfer for my daughter to another kindy, but wit this issue not delt wit i just dont trust the association as well as the teacher involved. (just to b clear to, it was only 1 teacher involved, and i am not makin any statement at all about any other teacher who may work for aka or teachers in general, i do know of some truely awesome teachers)

Stifler's - posted on 02/22/2011

15,141

154

604

If a kindergartener was bleeding from the vagina wouldn't the protocol be to call an ambulance? Just like if they had a broken leg? That sounds pretty serious.

Amanda - posted on 02/22/2011

234

10

28

I just need a bit of clarification, is this Kindergarten or a state accredited day care? If it is a public school then go to the school board, if it is a day care which is state approved you can call the agency in your state which overseas day cares. I am in Ohio and it is the Ohio dept. of Job and family services for me. I have made a complaint before on a day care and (at least in Ohio) they are required to send someone the next day to investigate the complaint. According to your post you have several grounds for a complaint, protocol not being followed, teacher being in the bathroom alone with the child and checking her private area, are just a few.

Amanda - posted on 02/22/2011

6

7

0

thank u teresa, just to know that im not over reacting is a help, i am trying to get back into as normal a routine as possible, but obviously kindy is not an option, if anyone else has any ideas or thorts plse let me know, i would really appreciate it, thank u :)

[deleted account]

I'm sorry that I don't have a clue what you should do, but I completely agree w/ not sending her back there.

Accidents can and do happen, but the way this teacher 'handled' the situation was completely inappropriate. I'm not sure what else to add as I am very upset for you and your daughter right now.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms