My daughter will be 3 in September and is still NOT potty trained and I swear Ive tried everything!

Tiffany - posted on 04/05/2011 ( 15 moms have responded )




So my daughter will be 2 years and 7 months old on the 16th and she is still not potty trained. I have been trying sence she was about 15 months old. She used to tell me when she needed to go and she would go on the toilet every once in a while. I swear Ive tried everything, Pull ups, Underwear, Giving her a piece of candy after she goes hoping she would keep going to get candy lol We've gotten her 2 different potty chairs. Even a Tinkerbell one which I thought would help sence she LOVES tink but now she isnt even telling me when she needs to go. She isnt even telling me when her diaper is dirty anymore and she will be 3 in september! She needs to be potty trained! I cant think of anything else to help get her to go so PLEASE help lol


Jenni - posted on 04/05/2011




Don't pressure. When I was PT my son i used CL pt. I introduced the potty at 18 months. He figured out how to use it right away. We'd just use it before baths, I'd ask him if he wanted to try. If he didn't, I'd leave it at that.

When he was 2 years old we started having 'Potty Days' or mornings... as long as he was positive about it. I'd put him in underwear. At first he had lots of accidents (I never made a big deal about them) he started getting discouraged so we took a break for a few months. I'd just ask him every once in awhile if he wanted to wear his underwear. He said no for a while but then at around 2.5 yo he said 'yes' one day... so we gave them another go.

In the first week we had tons of accidents and he wee'd about every 20-30 mins. But he slowly learned to go longer between wees and started learning to 'tell' when he needed to go.

It took about a month but he is about 99% accident-free for the last 3 months. He still needs a diaper for naps and night time. He just learned to poo on the potty 3 weeks ago.

My SD and my son's friend absolutely refused to use the potty until they were 3 yo. My SD was completely PT day and night after her 3rd bday and it took about 2 weeks. My son's friend was PT over a weekend day and night after his 3rd bday. She made him wear underwear and he held it all day. Their dog pooped on the floor on her way out the door and her son got really upset. His mom replied matter-of-factly "that's ok. We'll just clean it up". Later that afternoon she caught him peeing like a firehose from the top of the stairs. She cheered him on! He had been afraid to pee without a diaper on before that so it was a big accomplishment. After that she never had to put a diaper on him again. He did both ones and twos in the potty over a weekend. So have hope!

Never ask a child if they need to pee! Both my SD and son would ALWAYS say they didn't even when they did. I learned a trick. I'd exclaim excitedly: "I Need to pee!!!!" and my son would say: "Me too. Me too!" and we'd race to the potty. I'd let him win of course ;)

And don't be afraid to take breaks if she is bawking the potty! Don't turn it into something negative, it should always be fun!

In my own personal experience bribes and conjuling do NOT work.

[deleted account]

Oh my goodness, I just got done dealing with this! My daughter is 3 1/2 (her birthday's in October) and she was refusing and refusing and refusing to use the toilet. I wasn't really worried about it until she hit 3, then I started to push her more. I can tell you, it really made me feel like a failure as a mother... Then, 3 days ago, she just started to use the toilet! It was crazy and completely out of the blue, but she's only had 4 accidents in the last 3 days! She's even using public toilets (something my neice, who's been potty trained for almost a year, is terrified of) AND she's going #2 just as well as #1! I am so proud of my little girl - I swear, every time I look at her on the toilet I get all choked up with happy tears :)

In the end, it was best for me to just be patient. I had to wait for her to be ready and she just wouldn't let me push - independent bugger! lol :)

Good luck!


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[deleted account]

Try not to stress about it... it's PERFECTLY normal for kids to not be potty trained till 3 or after. If she senses your stress about it then it will affect her. rewarding her is great! my oldest daughter wanted to be just like her best friend who is 18 months older so my daughter potty trained at 15/16 months. then when my 2nd child was born my first daughter was 23 months old and suddenly she actually asked to go back to a pull up and ONLY wanted to poop in the potty but not pee (which is better than the other way around i suppose). anyways, i didn't make a deal out of it and just let her but then a month or so later i ordered these SUPER cute panties by Little Miss Matched and when they came in the mail, I said "oh no, i forgot i ordered these panties, but what am I going to do with them now that you don't wear them anymore???" long story short she LOVED them and it was only a matter of hours before she was begging me to put her panties back on and we've had just a handful of accidents but only in her sleep or when i can't get her to a bathroom fast enough. point is.... she had to decide and once she decided that wearing the new SUPER cute panties (my daughter was a fashionista by age 1) outweighed her desire to be babied in a pull/up, all was well :-). my oldest nephew had a really hard time though partially because he didn't have a dad at home i think and he was almost 4 before he was potty trained and still having accidents till about age 5 and occasionally has night accidents now at 6. even then... it's not something to ever make a big deal out of NO MATTER how inconvenient it is.... and it REALLY can be. my 9 month old blew up a cloth diaper today and poop went EVERYWHERE... all over her and her clothes and the carpet and the toys she was playing with... i mean this kid is barely 15 pound sopping wet, teeny tiny and just EXPLODED and i'm having to clean everything within a 2 foot radius thinking i can't WAIT till you are potty trained! hahaha! it is super convenient! best of luck! keep it up with the rewards.... my daughter didn't need it with the potty training but she's needed a sleep chart and she gets stickers for certain going to sleep accomplishments at nap and nighttime and after 5 in a row she gets to pick a prize.... it's been working well - we just started it!

[deleted account]

Besides that, your daughter is only 2 and a half, if I read your post right? Why are you pushing so hard for her to do such a big thing? Kids won't do it until they are ready. It's not unusual for kids her age to just not be cognitively ready yet. For a child to pee and poop in the toilet they have to UNDERSTAND what they are doing to a certain extent and at less than 3 years old, I think you're expecting far too much from your little girl. Sorry, just my opinion.

[deleted account]

First of all, why does she "NEED" to be potty trained? My son is 3. He'll be 4 in October and I've tried all of your tricks and more. Kids need to be ready for this kind of thing. Does your daughter get to spend a lot of time around other children? From what I hear, that helps a lot. All the M&M's in the world don't count when they have a classrsoom full of other kids going "pee pee in the potty" around them every day. My son's starting pre-school soon and I've had ZERO success, like you, with potty training. I'm hoping once he sees the other kids going potty in the big boy potty he'll want to do it himself all the time. Fingers and toes crossed. But, of course, for me, this means I can't skip the Pull Ups like I wanted

Nikkole - posted on 04/07/2011




My son is 3yrs and 4months and JUST NOW got potty trained i ONLY use pull ups at night but he usually isn't wet in the morning its for just in case but you are supposed to but off all liquids an hour before bed! But anyways i just took the diaper off during the day and let him run around naked and watched and took him to the potty ever 25-30min depending on how much he drank and then after about a week of that i put pants on him and then now he tells me he has to go but it helps if you can stay home for about a week and not go anywhere and after they learn to potty then take them places! Good luck

Amanda - posted on 04/07/2011




I have a 2 years and 9 months and I was the same tried everything and then I stop and let her wear a nappy and about 3 weeks after I stopped trying she turned around to me and said "mum can I wear nickes like a big girl and we have never gone back so I think that you just need to give her time she will let you know when she is ready

Alecia - posted on 04/07/2011




my daughter is 18 mnths and doesnt like to sit on the potty, though we have gotten her to go on it a couple times. right now we just ask if she wants to use it, and if she doesnt, then no big deal. if by 2 she doesnt show more interest we are just going to stop buying diapers, get her big girl underwear and hope she doesnt like being wet and will use the potty. even if it takes her awhile (and lots of laundry) we r gonna stick with it. i knw she's physically capable right now, but she's still a baby really, so we rnt pushing. i would just have her wear underwear and im sure she'll "want" to use to potty. just be encouraging and remind her if she has an accident that big girls use the potty.

Gwen - posted on 04/07/2011




She's barely 2 1/2. Every kid is different. Just because we parents decide it's time doesn't mean our kids even understand the concept or body control yet. I think you'll see that by using gentle reminders and not pushing it, she'll more or less train herself. I barely had to do anything to potty train my daughter. Once she "got it" (it was literally like watching a light bulb turn on), she got it! Then it was a breeze :-)

Tiffany - posted on 04/05/2011




Yeah I havent been having her go and I just started again today and she's actually gone twice and got all excited about it cause I gave her a princess tattoo when she goes. Lol. Shes been in underwear today and hasnt had a accident yet. So she probably just needed time.

[deleted account]

She's normal. I started potty training my twin girls at about a year and a half. It took over a year before I could have them in underwear during the day. They were great naked, but ANY kind of bottoms and... not so much. They weren't staying dry through the night consistently til over 4.5.

Because of my difficulties w/ them and the fact that my son was born w/ his father's stubbornness and his mother's temper.... I decided NOT to potty train him and I didn't. I left it 100% up to him. All I did is provide the place (potty chair or toilet), knowledge (saw us going/talked about what we are doing), and support when he wanted to try.... and he potty trained himself. He just turned 3 about a week ago and has been fully day and night trained for about 4 months.

Neither of my best friend's kids even attempted to potty train before 3 and they did so w/ virtually no accidents.

Every kid is different and what will work for one will not automatically work for another. Some kids can be 'pushed' into potty training, but for most.... the more you try, the more they reisist.

Honestly, I'd drop the whole idea for a month or two to let the stress of it die down. Then I'd reintroduce the whole thing slowly and let her take the lead. Good luck and remember... she will NOT be in diapers forever. If it takes a few more months, but can be done w/out a fight and w/out stress..... why not give it a try?

Amy - posted on 04/05/2011




I think you're doing so many different things she doesn't know what to expect maybe? That's what happened with ours. we tried so many different ways she didn't know what was going on. on her 3rd b day her dad just said, you're 3 now and a big girl. big girls don't use pull ups, they only pee in the toilet. and that was pretty much that for her. He just said this is how it is and it's what we expect. She had a few accidents here or there if she was really tired, but other than that did very well.

But from personal experience - the more you push, the more they refuse.

Amanda - posted on 04/05/2011




I dont believe in this some kids dont train until after 3 (unless there is a developmental issue). Spend a weekend at HOME, make her run around with no diaper, if she wets her self, then make her clean it up (with you), do not belittle her, remind her nicely that she is to use the potty. Children at that age dont like to be wet, esp if its clothing! When she does use the toilet make a HUGE deal about it, dance, cheer, clap, just go nuts. At this age it shouldnt take long at all to train (as she fully understands she is suppose to be using the potty). Many children use going to the potty as a control thing, because for many of them the only thing in their lives they truely control is their movements. So make it seem like she has all the control, make it HER idea. She will potty train! :0)

Michelle - posted on 04/05/2011




Some kids are not trained till age 3 or older. Like said above give her a break and try again later.

User - posted on 04/05/2011




To be honest I'd give it a break for a while and try again in a couple of months. It sounds like she's not ready and the ongoing pressure may be contributing to her unwillingness to perform. Your stress will also rub off on her and make the process much harder.

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