My daughter will be nineteen in October and never really went on dates until she was 17.She has been dating this one little boy for about 6 monhts now and I know they are having sex. I am upset on one hand but understand on the other. I am a widow and my husband and I adopted her at birth. We were an older couple and I am not 73. I feel I should let her know the I am aware of their actions and that I believe that you should be of an age and in a position to be married. Both are planning on going to college so their are a lot of things that will problem happen before they would even be able to think of marriage. I would appreciate any feedback from anyone who has "food for thought".

Nina Carazo - posted on 09/11/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My daughter will be nineteen in October and never really went on dates until she was 17.She has been dating this one little boy for about 6 monhts now and I know they are having sex. I am upset on one hand but understand on the other. I am a widow and my husband and I adopted her at birth. We were an older couple and I am not 73. I feel I should let her know the I am aware of their actions and that I believe that you should be of an age and in a position to be married. Both are planning on going to college so their are a lot of things that will problem happen before they would even be able to think of marriage. I would appreciate any feedback from anyone who has "food for thought".

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Michelle - posted on 09/11/2013

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But like I said, it's her choice. She would know your opinion as you brought her up but she's an adult now and has to make her own life choices.

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Nina Carazo - posted on 09/11/2013

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Thank you all for your feed back.You are all correct she is of age and can make her own choices. It is just hard to let go especially since her maturity wavers depending on the circumstances. In some things she see herself as grown up but in others she is still under my wing so to speak. Certainly, she is not ready to be on her own. I have instructed her in the safety issues as well as the moral issues and she has been going to a private relgious school since kindergarden so she is well versed in what moral are right and wrong. She is no different than I was or others were at her age and thinks she is truly in love. Which who knows, if you think you are it is the same as if you are since we cannot know others thoughts. I appreciate and agree with all the advice you have offered.

Dove - posted on 09/11/2013

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She's an adult. If you've raised her with your beliefs... she already knows them. Hopefully you've educated her on all the risks and possibilities and she is protecting herself from STD's and any unwanted pregnancy. As hard as it is to watch your child make choices you don't agree with.... she IS an adult and it's her life to do what she wants with it.

Nina Carazo - posted on 09/11/2013

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Hi Michelle thanks for your respone. I think I may not have made myself clear. Surely I don't want my daughter to marry at this time and age. I meant that she really should be intiment with someone only if she thought that in the right circumstances this would be someone that she would feel she might want to spend her life with. Does that make since?

Michelle - posted on 09/11/2013

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She's 19 and an adult so you can't tell her what to do with her life. What she does now is her choice.
Why would you want her to rush into marriage at such a young age? It would be better for her to decide in her own time if she wants to marry him or not. There's nothing you can do about it.
you don't want her to marry now to "do the right thing by you" and then be divorced in a few year's time. You would rather her find someone she is happy with for the rest of her life. If that means having a bit of "fun" for now then be it.
I was married at 23 and divorced at 30 so I do know what can happen. I have since remarried (at 35) and have met my soul mate.

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