My daughters "dad" hasnt came around for 18 months what do i do?

Melissa - posted on 09/27/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hi there! my daugthter is almost three years old, and her real dad wasnt been around for 18 months. Hes seen her maybe 5-6 times when she was a baby! I've been with another guy for the past 3 years ( her whole life) and he has been there for my daughrter since day one! took her on as his own!!! NOW the bio dad messages me through his new GF facebook and wants back into her life.... what do i do??? I feel that the past months werent important to him, why now? Is he only asking cause of the girl friend? My daughter doesnt know who he is.... and idont want her to be confused... and i dont want him to break her heart!!!! My laywer says what he did is called and Abanomship.... Should i let him back in or tell him to go away and she has a stable father figure in her life?? I need helpful advice pleasee!!

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[deleted account]

Did you file contempt orders for the visits he missed? If so, you have a very good chance of eliminating his visitation rights, but you have to do it through the courts. Right now, he still has a right to that one visit a week unless you formally file charges for abandonment.

Melissa - posted on 09/27/2013

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We went to court 2 years ago. I have full custody!! He had one visit a week. And made it to 2 visits and than bailed and never came back...

[deleted account]

Do you mean "Abandonment?"

The length of time a parent has to be unreachable to qualify as abandonment varies from state to state. In my state, it is 24 months, in some states it could be as low as 18 months, and in others as high as 60 months, and there are even a few that do not recognize it no matter how long the parent disappears. That said, if you try to keep the child from him without a court order, he can take you to court and sue for visitation rights.

Right now, if you do not have a court order in place, you do not have to let him see her. That said, if you refuse to let him see her, and he decides to take you to court, he can say that you refused to allow him contact with his daughter for no reason, and that does not look good for you because technically, if there is no court order in place, both parents have equal rights to custody of the child. Meaning, he has a right to see her anytime he wants to unless you get a court order stating that he cannot see her or can only see her at certain times.

Basically, you need to go to court.

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