my daughters dad just served me for joint custody but never paid CS

Crystal - posted on 10/15/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I was recently served for joint custody 4 days him and 3 days me I FEEL ITS UNFAIR CUZ HE NEVER PAID HIS $23 CHILD SUPPORT AND HE IS UNSTABLE HE LIVES BK AND FORTH WITH HIS DAD IN FRESNO AND BROTHER IN SANGER HE'S NEVER HELPED ME SINCE WE SEPARATED IN 2010 CUZ OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOWEVER OUR DAUGHTER I WOULD ALLOW HER TO GO WITH HIS MOTHER (GRANDMA) SHE WOULD SPEND SOME WEEKEND but most the time he was never their or bother seeing her :( SO ON THE COURT PAPERS HE SAID WE BEEN JOINTLY PARENTING AND I WOULD SEND HER WITH HIM WHICH IS FALSE CUZ HIS MOTHER WOULD TAKE HER NEVER HIM .. HE HAS NOT TOKEN HER TO SCHOOL EVER OR A DR. SO I FEEL HOW CAN HE HAVE THOSE RIGHTS.. I AM AGREEING WITH EVERY OTHER WEEKEND FIRST I FEEL HE SHOULD SHOW HE READY TO BECOME A DAD ... HE ONLY SERVED ME CUZ CHILD SUPPORT WAS AFTER HIM.. HE IS ON CASH AIDE AND JUST HAD ANOTHER KID AND HE STATING $150 OF HIS CASH AIDE HER USES FOR HIS BABY ..I FEEL WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER.. I AM WORKING 2 JOBS I HAVE MY OWN HOME I'M RENTING MY DAUGHTER HAS HER OWN ROOM AND I ALWAYS FINANCIALLY AND PHYSICALLY TOKEN CARE OF EVERYTHING ON MY OWN..... IS IT POSSIBLE FOR HIM TO GET JOINT AND MY
OUR DAUGHTER JUST RIPPED AWAY FROM ME .. I'M NOT TRYING TO FIGHT OVER CUSTODY I FEEL HE'S ASKING FOR WAY TOO MUCH AT ONCE

9 Comments

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Michelle - posted on 10/17/2015

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Like the other ladies have said, get yourself a lawyer and discuss everything with them. A lawyer will know what usually happens with the judges in your area and will be able to prepare you properly.

He has every right to ask fro joint custody though so be prepared for him to get at least regular visitation.

Lisa - posted on 10/17/2015

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In my opinion a judge will not give him what he is asking for. I know this is scary but a judge will look at the whole situation and do whats best for your child. She will not be ripped away from you,,just get a lawyer and I'm sure they will tell you the same thing. Yes, child support and custody are two different issues but it will brought up that he is not doing what he should be doing in the first place. Please update and let me know.

Dove - posted on 10/16/2015

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Gather up all your documented evidence of why joint custody would be harmful to your child (do not mention child support... that isn't a reason)... and then hire a lawyer to help you.

He can file for whatever he wants, but that doesn't mean a judge will grant it. A judge will look at the evidence you can both produce and then, hopefully, make a ruling that is in the best interest of the child... whatever that may be.

Jodi - posted on 10/16/2015

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He has a right to FILE for joint custody simply because he is the father of the child. Yes, it is FAIR that he can file - every parent has that opportunity. Whether or not he gets it is another matter; one to be decided by the courts based on your arguments. He may have lied in his application - now it is up to you to prove that he lied and him to prove that it is true.

Like the others have said, get a lawyer and make sure you have evidence that he is not reliable as a father.

Please remember, however, that child support and custody are two separate issues and a judge won't decide he can't have his child just because he hasn't paid child support.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/16/2015

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Yelling at Evelyn isn't going to help you. Get an attorney, get PROOF of your allegations.

Ev - posted on 10/16/2015

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And that advice is to get a lawyer, have proof he is not fit to have her for unrestricted visitation or joint custody, and also bring up he is not paying his child support.

Crystal - posted on 10/15/2015

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I'm not trying to keep our daughter away I feel he should show consistency in our daughters life... I never been thru this SO I NEED ADVICE OF HOW TO HANDLE THIS

Crystal - posted on 10/15/2015

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The court awarded a restraining order but the restraining order has been no longer for about 5 months .. Even if he has no home of his own he can get joint .. He has a room at his brothers but it's 4 of them in that room already HIM AND HIS GF AND HIS GF KID AND THEIR KID THEY HAVE TOGETHER

Ev - posted on 10/15/2015

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Well, he does have the right to ask for joint custody. But you are going to have to prove him unfit. And the judge is not going to listen to just what you feel or think, he or she will want some sort of evidence the father is a danger to the child. If you have documented all visitations and if he showed or not on the dates and times....that will help. But its not up to you to make the choice.

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