my daughters father wants to bring our daughter to his ex's wedding

G - posted on 05/19/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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So my fiance broke up with me a few weeks ago and had been made a part of his ex girlfriends wedding party a few months earlier. He wants our daughter to go bc he doesn't want to pay someone to watch her on his day to take care of her. I had told him she couldn't go when I found out I had not been invited. I was his fiance at the time and thought it was rude of her to have him in the wedding party and not invite us as a family. I am debating whether or not to have him take her since it is his day.

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Jodi - posted on 05/21/2014

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So why would you not let her go if you can't have the day with her anyway? You are broken up with him, you don't need to be invited. I think that if you stop your daughter going just because you think it is rude you didn't get an invite as a family (which, you aren't anymore, so its a moot point) then really, its just sour grapes, isn't it?

Michelle - posted on 05/20/2014

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If it's his day then you really have no say in what he does with her (unless he is putting her in danger).

You are no longer together and can't control what happens when he has her.

ETA: If you can't take a day off to look after her then you have to let it be.

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2014

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Why can't you watch her on that day if that's the only reason he feels he has to take her?

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Jodi - posted on 05/21/2014

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Well, you don't get to dictate that without a court order. Sorry, but if it is his weekend and nothing says she can't be around your child, that's not your call.

G - posted on 05/21/2014

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That was the reason at the time and not the only reason for not letting her go. I don't feel comfortable having my daughter around her she openly bashes us and he just let's her do it to keep the peace . Hopefully since its her wedding day she will keep her opinions to herself. Michelle is right on his day there is very little I can do and it is his day after all. Thank you ladies for taking the time to respond I appreciate your advice.

G - posted on 05/20/2014

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My mom was going to watch her for that day but she had to get surgery. I'd have to miss work to watch her and I just got laid off. I had asked him to pay for daycare for that day and he refuses saying that its now his day. So the real question is whether to grit my teeth and let her go or stand my ground and find some way to secure a sitter for that day ?

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