My Daugter is 3 months and I want to have another baby

Amanda - posted on 02/05/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My baby girl is my pride and joy. She is a challenging one for sure with her being a colicy baby but i wouldnt trade her for the life of me. I am not with her father and have been with my Fiancee sense i was 4 months pregnant. Me and him want to have our own baby and after that i dont want to have anymore. I am getting my tubes tied after my 2nd baby. We also want another girl so we can see the sisterly bond and the catty fights too. We are just weird like that lol. We love girls and he has a 3 year old son. I have never wanted a boy and after seeing my soon to be step son, i definitely dont want a boy. I will completely content with another baby girl. Any advice from the mommies out there?

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Andrea - posted on 02/06/2014

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Ok, I have read your post and everyone else's post ..
I am a mom of 3, 2 boys and 1 girl... Our oldest is boy 6 and middle girl 5 years old youngest is just 12 months.. The oldest 2 are 17 months apart..
I am a mom that had a little boy first {6 now} when he was 9 months old we found we were pregnant again. We planned to wait a year then start trying... Well didn't go as planned but a true blessing, At my 12 weeks check up they couldn't find the heart beat was sent in to ultrasound, where I sat looking at the color drain out of the techs face, she then looked and said I am sorry. I said sorry for what, she goes your little one has a Birth defect, I crashed.. Went in to the doctors office where he tells me my little princess will be born with Gastroschisis { insides outside of belly} She also had a Cystic Hydroma {spelling unsure} which is a sign for Downs syndrome and turns syndrome. I was scared to death I just cried till 13 weeks when we had CVS testing done {placenta scraping} They wanted up to abort our daughter, I told them No that was not any option. Well all the test came back everything was fine Besides the GASTROSCHISIS. She was born at 36 weeks at 3lbs 8oz 16 1/4in long.. She spent 7 days waiting for surgery to put her insides back where they belonged, was on a ventilator for 11 days, She spent the first 6 weeks of her life in a NICU where I couldn't hold her till she was 2 weeks old.. She is now 5 years old and happy mostly healthy.. We waited 3 almost 4 year to try again as we were scared to put another little one through it all, It took us a lot of talking before we decided to have another little one and Last year I gave birth to a handsome little boy who just turned one last month..
Now that being said, I am sure you are thinking that will never happen to me, I will never have a child with a birth defect.. Let me tell you I said the same thing and now I worry every day about my little girl and what is going on with her belly, blockages, pooping, vomiting, distended belly all of these things could kill her if not caught soon enough..
I am not say this will happen but I am just showing you the other side.. At the end of the day it is your and your boyfriend "Fiancée" of 9 months choice.. I just really hope that you talk with your doctor and think before you act...

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Andrea - posted on 02/07/2014

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I was not trying to be rude or scare you or say that you shouldn't. I just wanted you to beware of the risk to you and baby..

Like I said " It is yours and your fiancées choice on when and if you want another baby" As you are the only 2 that can make the choice, I however would sit and talk make sure this is what you both really really want..
Would hate to see things end badly for some reason { NOT SAYING THEY WILL} and then you are a single mom with 2 kids close in age trying to figure out how to juggle it all... Have seen some of my friends go through it...
Best wishes and take care

Kayla - posted on 02/06/2014

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It sounds like the way your step son acts is a result of the way he is being raised by his mother, not due to the fact that he is a boy.
I would also like to tell you that having babies so close together is very challenging. Not only does your body need time to heal, but it is hard to take care of a baby under the age of 1, while being pregnant. My 2nd child was 5 months old when I became pregnant with my 3rd. It was tough to be up all night with my 2nd, and to hold him and lift him, he constantly needed me. If I were you, I would seriously consider how you will handle it. I am not trying to be rude at all. I just know from experience the importance of letting your body heal in between pregnancies.

Jodi - posted on 02/05/2014

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I think, from what you have said, you need to sort out your issues with your step-son first. Unfortunately, you can't control the rules in her house, so you and your partner need to establish your boundaries and rules and be consistent with those. That's all you can do. The kid is 3. His gender has nothing to do with it, and 3 can be a difficult age anyway.

With regard to the letting your body heal thing, yes, there are people that have them close together - they are usually called surprises. It is probably those same people who come to this forum and ask if they could possibly be pregnant because they are breastfeeding and haven't had a period yet. Deliberately going ahead and trying for another right now is probably not a wise choice, as it increases the risk of complications. But hey, it's your life. If your doctor has said it is okay, then your choice.

Amanda - posted on 02/05/2014

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Its not that I have the problem with him personally. It's that I have an issue with his mother and the way he is raised because he gets away with everything and has no structure so when he comes and visits us on the weekends he thinks he can do the same thing here. And it is completely unacceptable. And my fiancees grandmother tries to do the same as his mother and let him do what he wants. I just feel he needs structure in his life. I love him to death but we have our issues. I am worried about the fact I had my daughter 14 weeks ago. I know doctors say let your body heal but I have seen many people have children less then a year apart.

Jodi - posted on 02/05/2014

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Wow, you have your life just all planned out......

Firstly, you cannot choose what you want with regard to the gender. If you definitely don't want a boy, then maybe you shouldn't be having another baby at all. You get what you get.

Secondly, you only had your baby 3 months ago. You need to give your body time to heal. You also have only been with your fiancee for 8 months. That's actually not very long. I'd give it a bit more time. After all, you are yet to blend the family you already have. It isn't an easy task. You need to give that time to work out too. Clearly you have some problems with your stepson, or you wouldn't be talking about him in the way you have.

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