My Daugther

Annette - posted on 09/21/2015 ( 10 moms have responded )

5

0

1

God I always knew being a mum would have its challenges but recently I feel I am dealing with someone with a mental illness. My beloved daughter is about to turn 14 and has turned into someone I don't even recognize. There has been a slow progression and skipping school once, then burning stuff in her room with her friend...now to refusing to be part of the family. Doesn't want to engage with me at all, refuses to do her paid chores, eat and interact with me in any way. Last night it got to the point I smacked her arse and dragged her to her room and she went to bed. I hated that I lost my temper and let her get the better of me. I have a delightful 16yo old boy and a 10yo boy as well...they are great! I am worried as this just seems to be the tip of the ice berg with threats of running away now happening. I have tried everything, all the typical restrictions, no tv, no phone, no internet or FB, grounding, reasoning with her, being tough. Even the school counselor. She doesn't swear at me or hit me, but some times I just want to knock her down. She think the gangster life style is for her and that I am to strict. I know I am a good mum but god this is exhausting. I have done a bit of research on teens, I understand the formation of the teen brain and that they don't function on rational thought...but how in the hell do parents get through this??...one day at a time I guess.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Annette - posted on 09/21/2015

5

0

1

Hang in there Alma.....it will get better...I just think if I fill up my daughters life and keep her busy with positive activities then that may help....and wear me out...but they are worth it.

Raye - posted on 09/23/2015

3,761

0

21

Olivia, and good parent won't just ignore that behavior. I did some of the things that Annette's daughter is doing when I was a kid, and some of it is "normal" (if there is such a thing). But my mom was tough on me and I did end up thanking her for it later.

Annette, stick to your guns. Keep getting in her business and trying to straighten her out. She needs your love and she needs to be taught proper behavior.

Annette - posted on 09/21/2015

5

0

1

Hi Angela....thanks so much for the encourage and advice. Yes I do think its the company she is keeping. Her mates have smoked weed they skip school. Problem is she is not a street wise kid at all and just thinks the down and outters are amazing...smoking weed, being a run away...its all very exciting to her. Typical rebellion and a teen trying to find their own identity. I will definitely pursue counselling and perhaps therapy...its just such a helpless feeling. My approach is not to falter and remain stead fast about rules and such..other wise she will never learn. So hard to deal with when you love these people so much but hate their behavior.

Angela - posted on 09/21/2015

25

0

6

Hmmm do you think it could be the company she's keeping?? Like friends. Peer pressure is the worst . I hate to bring it up but also drug activity . I would try to eliminate the worst possible reasons. Definitely would seek Counseling Possible therapy. I'm so sorry your going through this but it sounds like the typical teenager but with concerns I'd check all of the above

10 Comments

View replies by

Angela - posted on 09/22/2015

25

0

6

I'm sorry but burning stuff in her room is not normal that's putting herself as well as the whole house in danger and can get out of hand

Alma - posted on 09/21/2015

2

0

0

I drop My oldest son yesterday to college that is how I was looking for some kind of mom support. I feel my chest is scrape out of me. You might think that is silly. but hurts bad.
I also I have 15 yrs old at home who is treating me to leave the house who is being friend with the kids who is not high performer. He has been the sweetest while I was dealing with his older brother. Now, it is his turn. and help.

Angela - posted on 09/21/2015

25

0

6

Again that's really all we as mothers want is to see our children become successful adults and going to bed every night know that we had a positive impact on them becoming those responsible adults! And saying those words ( you just made me tear up thinking about my situation)

Annette - posted on 09/21/2015

5

0

1

Thanks hun, all the best to you, start each day anew, never give up because we are better than that, and live with the hope that one day one of them will say, "thank you mum I love you"

Angela - posted on 09/21/2015

25

0

6

I absolutely agree it's a very difficult situation try that same kind of behavior with 4 kids ages 15,14,13,11 . And it only gets harder especially when ones suicidel , ones out of control at school and home and that's just the youngest 2 so maam I do feel your pain ! And I hope and pray you find the answers u need to help your daughter on this journey and get back on the right path . I'll keep you and her in my thoughts and prayers

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms