My disrespectful 9 year old son.

Jennie - posted on 04/09/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son had been extremely disrespectful here lately. He argues, he is rude, and he doesn't care if he gets in trouble. He got in trouble last week for talking back to the staff at the boys and girls club and told the staff that he doesn't follow the rules because he hates being there. He ignored his bus driver last week when he was asked to exit the bus. This week he was written up at school because he was walking backward in the hall and a teacher asked him repeatedly to stop and he just ignored her and when she said she was writing him up and explained why he said fine write me up I don't care do whatever you want. Then the same day at the club again he walked off while the staff was still talking to him, and then today he was written up again for ignoring a teacher and being rude and disrespectful. He is just being impossible he is lazy and doesn't want to do anything at all ever. If you tell him he's grounded he says I don't care and walks off. He will go to his room and stay there and just stare at the wall for an hour. A while back he was out voted on what movie the kids were going to watch and he threw a fit. When I told him if you don't want to watch it then don't but it's what is getting put on right now he stared at the ceiling for the duration of the movie. He is so stubborn. I don't know what to do in running out of ideas. Help!

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Jodi - posted on 04/11/2015

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Swatting on the butt IS hitting, and it was probably totally ineffective by the sound of it.

So you don't remove privileges because it makes him angry? YOU ARE THE PARENT HERE!!! So WHAT if it makes him angry and upset. That's the POINT!!!!

With regard to the consequences for the behaviour at school, so what if he was written up at school, implement consequences at home too.

It sounds to me like you aren't consistent enough.

Jennie - posted on 04/11/2015

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We'll yes that's all I've tried as he has only been written up twice and he wasn't hit he was swatted on the butt. The idea was to try and get some creative ideas in place incase this continues. As for this particular behavior no I haven't taken privileges away but that has been tried for punishments for other things in the past but it just seemed to make him angry and bring out his do whatever I don't care attitude. I am usually about trying new creative things as I have 4 children all about the same age. With my daughter grounding her works fine with my youngest son that just makes it worse. So does anyone have any creative ideas?

Jodi - posted on 04/10/2015

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You've grounded him to his room and you've hit him? Is that all you've tried? How about removing privileges when this happens? I know you say it is happening outside home, but that doesn't mean you can't put consequences in place AT home for this.

Jennie - posted on 04/10/2015

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No we haven't had him tested before. Other than his just being lazy he is usually a really good kid. He is very passive and gets along we'll with the other kids and this disrespect problem just started about 2 months ago. Nothing has changed as far as his life goes. No divorce or moving or anything like that but so far we have tried grounded him to his room, he's been swatted which by the way hurts his feeling worse than anything else. We have tried just talking to him to see if there was something bothering him he says no. We haven't tried a while lot cause it hasn't been happening long but I want to stop it before it gets worse and like I said before he is ok at home the problem seems to be with authority outside of the home.

Sarah - posted on 04/09/2015

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Has he ever been evaluated for Oppositional Defiant Disorder? When did this behavior start, has he responded to discipline in the past? What consequences besides sitting in his room do you use for this behavior?

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