my ex is trying to get partial custody can he do that if he abandoned his son

Chelsea - posted on 03/11/2014 ( 9 moms have responded )

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ok my ex husband is trying to get partial custody he has had an arrest when we were together he punched me while holding my son at the time was 4 months old he was arrested and got a misdermenour but any ways one day he said to me he didnt want to be married to me any more and kicked me and my son out of the apartment and i had found out a couple of weeks later that he was cheating on me with another woman and planned on moving to north carolina and he did he moved down there for a woman and has never seen his son in about four months and hardly calls and has already threatened me to take my son whenever he wants. can he get partial custody of my son he cant keep a stable home inviorment and he is a roomate he rents a room dose not have a car and can never keep a job for more then 3 months would i beable to get sole custody he does not act like a father when we were together he hardly spend time with my son then HELP! all the advice you can give would be helpful THANK YOU!

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Jodi - posted on 03/11/2014

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How on earth do you get a divorce without first making custody arrangements for the children involved? Honestly, I don't know what they are thinking in some places. They won't ALLOW a divorce here until there is proof that custody arrangements are made and the children are provided for.

Shawnn is right, if you deny him access when he asks for it, YOU could be the one accused of parental alienation and lose custody. It happens all the time. You are protecting yourself and your child by making sure arrangements are in place.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/11/2014

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Here we go again "he won't"...well, you don't KNOW that he won't, because he is asking for partial custody. He very well MAY show up. And, if he does, and you don't have custody orders in place, he can accuse you of withholding the child, take the child, and go. If you don't have custody orders, you don't have protection. Furthermore, he does have rights as the father of the child, and if he should choose to exercise those rights, he can claim that you are trying to affect parental alienation by not allowing access to his child, in which case, the judge may decide in his favor.

If you want to assure that you retain majority custody, YOU MUST CONTACT AN ATTORNEY and go about it legally.

Jodi - posted on 03/11/2014

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I'm saying that filing for sole custody will be of benefit - see where I said that if he takes him now there is not a damn thing you could do about it? But don't be surprised if he gets some level of visitation. The best thing you could do, if he fights it, is push for supervised visitation. They rarely give mothers full 100% sole custody if the father fights for visitation these days. But supervised visitation is entirely justifiable.

You asked for advice. You don't have to like it. I am simply telling it like it is.

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Dove - posted on 03/12/2014

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Can he? Yes. WILL he? That depends a lot on your lawyers and the judge assigned to your case... and what both of you can prove w/ solid evidence. He will almost certainly get some sort of visitation arrangement set up at the very least though... so start preparing yourself for that.

Amy - posted on 03/12/2014

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Child custody agreement was also part of my divorce. You are better off filing and getting a custody agreement set up before he shows up and takes him.

Chelsea - posted on 03/11/2014

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he cant get my son either my mom oor me has my son and i hardly think he will come down to pa because he dose not lke to spend money like that he wouldnt spend the money to get a divorce i had to pay for it

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/11/2014

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Jodi's pretty much hit it, too.

It really doesn't matter what YOU think of the guy. If he's got a record, it will be easier for you to get sole physical/legal custody, but there will most likely be some level of visitation awarded as well.

And, if you DON'T have current custody orders in place, it is entirely possible that he could take the baby, and not be in the wrong...

Your best option is to get custody established, and push for supervised visits.

Chelsea - posted on 03/11/2014

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why would it be benfit me and my son his father is a piece of crap i want sole custody

Jodi - posted on 03/11/2014

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You may be able to get sole custody, but you will probably find that he will get some form of visitation. You need to talk to a lawyer. If custody orders aren't already in place, for the benefit of both you and you child, you should file for custody. At the moment, if he took the child and did not return him, this would be perfectly legal.

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