My Fiancé is smoking crack

Kriddy - posted on 12/26/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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He is superman 98% of the time - then he does this crack binging. It broke up his first marriage and last night Christmas night - at 3am - I found him smoking crack .... Again - he feels its not a big problem

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[deleted account]

that's good he knows that. If he doesn't want to do it then he could very easily sneak around with it trying to make you think he is sober. I have had addicts in the family to other drugs so I have seen how they will work. Sounds like to me that he has already made his choice but he won't be the one to walk away. Right now everything is good for him he has the crack and you are still there. He hasn't lost anything yet. So he will have no motivation to quit, if he even will.

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Ev - posted on 12/26/2013

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Then it seems like you have made your choice and you need to make the next move and either kick him out or you leave the place. The longer you stay the less he is likely to take your to mean the ultimatum. I would not put myself through more than what has gone on. I know it is hard to do that in a relationship especially where you have bonded with the kids, his family, and others he knows to end up having to leave him because he won't change. Its time to do something.

Kriddy - posted on 12/26/2013

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I know! What's so sad is I think he just one if those that will Not face himself. His x wife kicked him out and he went right into the arms of another woman. He lost his marriage if 17 yrs and sees his beautiful children who I adore and they love me too . He has visitation every other weekend . So it seems that huge loss did not make him choose to get better - why would he choose to get better now. It's all very sad as our families all enjoy each other and are delighted about the marriage proposal.

Kriddy - posted on 12/26/2013

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Thank you and precisely, the boundary has been set. He knows I will not tolerate it. However - I don't think he truly wants to get better. He wants to keep doing what he's doing even tho it destroys relationships - he has said to me." That. Sobriety is not for everyone".

I'm yoga teacher fulltime, choosing a clean a sober life!

I think he wants to be a stand up guy but he also wants to get high. He knows its me or the crack😔

[deleted account]

you can't force someone into rehab. If he has chose it over a relationship before then he probably will again. You can tell him where you stand on this and it's is within your right to say you can't be with him if he is smoking crack.

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