Peggy - posted on 07/23/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )
I am getting married at the end of August to a WONDERFUL man. I have a 16 yr old son, and a 6 & 8 yr old daughter. My kids adore him. My girls call him daddy and my son is excited that he is going to have a step-dad as i have never been married before. The problem is my fiance's son. He disrespects me at all costs every chance he gets. My kids and I are in counseling as my last relationship prior to my fiance was VERY abuse. I have asked the counselors how to handle the situation and have tried every suggestion and nothing works. I have a set of house rules that are posted in my house...my kids are pretty good at following them but bottom line is that they know that if the rules are broken there is a consquence for thier actions based on the severity of the rule that was broken. my fiance and I have talked about the disregard that his son has for these house rules as well as the disrespect but always has an excuse for his son..."well he didn't think it didn't apply to him"..."He lives with his mother so he isn't used to rules"...It isn't like i am asking the kid to do extrodinary things...they are simple things....i.e. Take shoes off when you come in door...no eating and drinking in living room when little ones are up...pick up after yourself...respect mom & dad...etc. I have never once made my fiance pick between his son or me and i never would. My parents were divorced and my mom had boyfriends when i was his son's age but if i ever disrespected them I was told that was wrong. I have told his son that I know that i am not his mother but i am an adult and i do expect respect...he laughed at me...his dad did nothing...what i don't get here is that my fiance is VERY good with my kids...we have the same discipline ideas...he is very active in their counseling, school, etc. But every other weekend when he has his son...discipline isn't in his vocabulary....it is always something that my kids cause his son to do...I know i only have about 3 years left and that is what keeps me hanging on and i sometime think that my 16 yr old maybe an example but i am beginning to wonder...I hate when my girls come to me and ask why his son didn't have a consquence for something that they have received consquences for...Can anyone help me please....