My first post... Worried about my nephew... What's your advice?

Loving - posted on 12/29/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hello,
I am worried about my nephew and it's something that has been weighing down on me a lot... I have an ok relationship with my brother and his wife although I don't get to see them or my nephew hardly. My nephew Chance, has just turned one, and my brother and his wife seem to have gotten deeper into the partying, drinking, and drugs. They borrow money from random friends and family when they can but they never have enough to care for themselves. What money they do have they spend on drugs (mostly pot).
I know they both smoked all the time (while she was prego) and I know they are bringing my nephew into that... They are never home , they go and have sleep overs with they're pot head friends whom all have children around 8mth to 18mth. ... Any way I don't feel like he is being taken care of... They do not put his needs first, they have returned gifts for their baby to get money for themselves... Me and my husband have talked about trying to take custody, we have a son soon to be 2yr, we have a very stable and loving home and are financially stable so taking him in would be no problem.. I worry so much about him and his future... But I am terrified of the consequences, I know trying to take custody of him would be like starting a war.... Besides the drugs they have been known to break into homes and steal.. I am honestly scared that they would be harassing us constantly and the threatening us. What would you do? What is the right thing to do? They will never change, they have been this way for 7 years plus.. My mom believes we should just stay out of it...

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Mardi - posted on 12/29/2013

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What about offering to babysit more often.
Talking to your sister about being made his legal guardian if something should happen to them etc.
To go at them, telling them they are bad parents is only going to get their backs up, but coming in softly and offering to have bubs while they go out etc, will build a bond and keep him away from that lifestyle.

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Loving - posted on 12/29/2013

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I have tried... I offered they could bring him any time and he could even sleep over, and he'd have so much fun playing with his cousin. They say they will bring him sometime if they need a sitter.. But they live 45 min away in this lil country town and that's where all they friends are... They won't drive out of their way for a sitter, especially since they just leave the baby sitting in the car seat. Also on the legal guardian thing I don't know how to go about that the legal way? I do NOT want my nephew going to the wife's family! They are all so bad on heavy drugs! And same with their friends... But yet her and her girlfriends get together and claim to be 'god parents' to each other's children even though none of them even have the means to care for themselves and their own child...

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