My five year old daughter's father doesn't know she exists

Amanda - posted on 12/17/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




My daughters father was a one night thing 2 months before I moved out of state. I did not know I was pregnant until I went to the hospital thinking it was pancreatitis. I have my beautiful little girl now and she is everything to me and my family. The problem is I never told her actual father about her. He is not a bad guy and has two girls of his own who look remarkably similar to my daughter. My daughter is five now and is really starting to ask questions and my family is really pushing me to tell the father. Not for financial reasons but because they don't want her to feel like the only kid in the world who knows nothing about her dad. I believe the reason I have kept it a secret so long is because I want my family and me to be all the love and support she needs. I just don't want to share my beautiful girl with someone who lives 1,000 miles away that I hardly know. I also don't want her do be deprived of anything. Please help me figure this one out. What should I tell my daughter and should I even ever tell her dad?


Ev - posted on 12/17/2015




She needs to know. He needs to know. It is not fair to either of them if you keep this to yourself. They have a right to a relationship just as much as you and her have one. You should set up custody, visitation, and child support. The child support can be put away for her college years or for a need that might arise that you might not count on happening. The visitation so he can have a relationship with her. Doing this does not mean he will get custody or ask for it though he would be within his rights to ask for it. But you need to do the right thing and let them both know. She does also have a right to any benefits of being his daughter brings along with the need to know medical history too.

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