My Four Beautiful Children

Daya - posted on 08/31/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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When my children were little, my twins were 2, I started telling them about good touch and bad touch. I told them if anyone touched them in those places they could tell anyone about it. About 2 years later my son now 4 came and told me his daddy was putting his pee pee in his butt. I was in shock (of course) and told my husband I was taking the kids to my parents for a few days. I had 2 - 4 year old's, a 3 year old and a 2 year old. My parents and I decided that a 4 year old wouldn't come up with that on his own and decided to call the police. This began a 2 year criminal trial and investigation. He, My EX, finally plead guilty and spent very little time in jail, but in the process I made sure it would be very difficult if not impossible to ever be around my children again. The story doesn't ever end there though... My son is now 30 years old. All of my children are raised and have children of their own. Are they happy? yes. Well adjusted? yes.. How am I? Well I still cry about it all these years later. When I see them go through a difficult time, struggle with depression or need a dad around, yeah it gets to me. I raised 4 abused children and it was hell sometimes. I remember once sitting on the couch holding all four of them and all of us crying cause they were not aloud to see daddy anymore. I asked God to help cause I didn't know if I could do this. It gets better Ladies and we get stronger but it is not easy and there is no one formula that works for everyone. I had to move several times to find a safe haven for my kids to grow up sleeping and feeling safe. I had to sacrifice many things in my life to make sure they had every thing they needed to overcome special adversities. I had to home school some of the time because of emotional issues, which meant I could not work. Was it worth it? yes.every bit is and was worth it.

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Carol - posted on 09/08/2015

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I don't mean to keep bringing this up I just don't have anyone to talk to that has experienced this.
My daughter says she doesn't know when she has to boo boo. She goes to her potty or the toilet to pee but every time she boo boo she does it in her pantys. I ask her why she says ma I didn't know I had to boo boo. I am going to take her to the doctor . I am wondering if the abuse is causing this . Did you experience this with your children?

Daya - posted on 09/01/2015

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I understand what your going through, Remember that it is NOT your fault he is doing this. It is NOT about you, it is about him and his behavior. He would do it regardless of who you are. That is how they work. My only suggestion is to document everything, every visit, every time he with her, every suspicion, everything. get a notebook and document everything. Take pictures. Get a little hidden video camera and put it where ever he is going to be with her. Hide it on your daughter, (without her knowing), put a hidden microphone somewhere. There are things available now that were not there when I was doing this. One step at a time, one document at a time, one video or recording away from freedom. The guilt is something I went through too but... I realized it had absolutely nothing to do with me. He had a problem and he needed help but my child needed me more. He is an adult and he can take care of himself, your daughter needs you.

Carol - posted on 09/01/2015

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Wow I am so sorry this happened to yr children. My daughter is being abused by her father I am just having a hard time proving it. I have so much guilt inside me because he takes his feelings for me out on my angel. I have ànger n crying spells so does my mom I am trying to get help for my baby seems like there just isn't enough protection thanks for yr story

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