My friends parties a lot

Crystal - posted on 07/30/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My closest friend of 11 years has two children, ages 9 & 3 and shares custody with the kids' father. While I know she loves her children, she parties a lot while she's with them and has even left them alone all hours of the night while she parties at a neighbors house until the wee hours of the morning. She holds down a full time job and supports herself and her kids financially but she doesn't do much else. The last 2 times I've stopped by her house to visit or because we had plans, she was sleeping (once with her neighbor, though she says it was only "cuddling") while the kids were running around in a VERY dirty house without having a proper meal that day. I've ended up taking care of the kids on both those occassions while she slept off her hangover once and the other time continued drinking.
I'm quite worried about the kids when she's with them given these recent happenings, and would like to address my concerns to her, but I'm not sure how to broach the subject. I'm also worried about her and the situations she might be putting herself in. She and I have definitely had our fair share of fun nights together, even when my kids were younger (mine are currently 16 & 13) but I have NEVER left them alone while I went to party. Nor have I slept my hangover away while my kids were unfed and unattended.
We've been friends for such a long time and I don't want to do anything to damage our friendship, but like I said, I really want to bring up my concerns to her.
Any suggestions on how to do this gently or hearing from anyone who's gone through something like this before would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks Moms!

2 Comments

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Ev - posted on 07/31/2013

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At this point since you know what is going on why do you not call Family Services or Protective Services and tell them what is going on. They will make a visit unannounced to see what is really going on. They will address the issues and start making things happen. I have heard in a lot of cases nothing gets done. I would not call this woman much of a friend if she is not taking her responsiblities to heart. Where is their father/fathers? Why not get them involved in this.

Febby - posted on 07/30/2013

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If she is a true friend whom you love dearly then I suggest you sit down with her and tell her in no uncertain terms. If you don't correct her then who will do it? I am more concerned about the children growing up in such conditions where their mother prioritizes partying instead . But be prepared to loose her as she may not take kindly to your cautioning .

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