my grandchildren

Tracey - posted on 08/28/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




hello i am new to this site, but feel the need to talk to people in a similar situation to me. anyway here goes.
about four years ago i took on my two grand children ages 3 and 4 and are still living with me. they are no problem and i wouldnt change that for the world. the problem that i have is there mother who resides with us. all she does is stay in her room constantly, she came to live with us about three years ago after ending a violent relationship with her partner, not the boys father. the understanding being that she find a job (lol) and find her own place leaving the bouys with me. buet that has not happened. now she has started using cocaine ane othe illeagal substances, out of the house. but on her return she shouts at me and her children, who of which seem to get a little scared.
when it suits her she talks to them, if they enter her room she immediately shouts at them and tells them to get out.
anyway it has got the stage that i treat her as though she not there, it easier. is there anyone that can give me some advice of what to do, as this is causing further problems in the household.
i havd no parental responibilty and every time we threaten to throw her out,she threatnes to take the children who i know she wouldnt look after properly because thats why they live with me.
sorry to go on, but i needed to get it off my chest.


Lori - posted on 08/28/2014




approach it from a business standpoint at first. draw up the living arrangement contract which should have been done and - if she is ever rational - discuss as adults what one another's expectations of the situation is.
I would also document her behavior and begin gathering evidence and talking to an attorney. it sounds as if you will need to fight for custody of these children eventually.
it doesn't sound as if she even WANTS the children so I am not sure how much of her "threat" is valid.

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