my grandson is scared of his father.He runs from him,will grab onto me and ask me to not let him get me.Ever since my daughter has insisted on a set visitation schedule,John has missed every one.When there was no schedule and he was allowed to come whenever he pleased, Reilly did a total backslide and reverted to using a bottle again and wanting to wear diapers,having nightmares and wanting to sleep with either me or my daughter.He doesn't react that way with anyone else.She tried to sever his rights on grounds of abandonment but that didn't work out.She's filing for sole custody because he does nothing to support him.All this started after we let John take him overnight to Kingman so his other grandmother could see him.We don't know what happened and of course they won't tell us.The first time we allowed an overnight visit,Reilly was left in his car seat all night long and John had not gotten him his regular formula but bought something cheaper therefore causing all sorts of digestive problems.He has another son with someone else and doesn't do anything for that child either.We just found all this out very recently.Of course,his lack of commitment is all our fault and the other mother's fault..He always had an excuse as to why he can't show up or why he doesn't pay any child support but his newest girlfriend has a nice big ring on her finger and they just got an apartment.My daughter has started a case through the state for child support.He doesn't feel that he needs parenting classes and he seems to feel that he shouldn't lose his rights.Now my grandson is going to start in childrens counceling soon.Not even three yet. Well I needed to vent a little.Good luck to everyone and I hope everyone finds resolution.
â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 01/14/2013
+1 on Holly.
This sounds to me like this is caused by the child not being able to know his father. Why would she want him to sign over rights? Is he abusive? Is he a criminal?
How do you KNOW that he's "the same" with his other child? How do you even know for sure that another child exists, and are you in direct communication with that child's mother?
Does your daughter "set" the schedule, or do the courts? If she was denied termination of his rights due to abandonment, then the courts saw that he is trying to see his child, but she's not allowing it in some form or another. And sole custody is physical. It doesn't include visitation, which would be set by the courts.
To be quite honest, you sound like either the mother of the woman that my husband divorced, or the same woman that he divorced. This is EXACTLY what she did, how she behaved, causing him YEARS of pain, and still not allowing him to know his child.
You have no business judging him based on what you hear from others. Do you know for certain that ring is real? Even if it is, is it your business? Nope, certainly isn't. Is it ANYTHING about his life your business? Other than your grandson, you have no connection to the man. And the connection through your grandson is tenuous at best.
A couple of other things: If momma wants baby on a specific formula, then momma better provide it. To ask the non custodial parent to spend outrageous amounts for formula is ridiculous. A generic one will have the same nutrients, etc. You do realize that when in stressful situations (such as that created by yourself and your daughter every time you see the boy's father) can also cause the same symptoms that you describe? And, the only time I've EVER heard of a child being harmed by sleeping in the car carrier was the time that some less than intelligent person left their kid in the carrier for 3 MONTHS STRAIGHT. Overnight is no problem, and it is actually a suggested solution if you have no other safe area to lay baby down.
Pitiful, if you ask me. You need to back out of your daughter's business, and she needs to realize that 2 people conceived that baby, which doesn't give her the sole say over what happens to or with the child. You're acting as if you're the other parent here, but you're not. You and your daughter need to get over your bitterness and see about what's right for that boy, not you, not her. And you need to quit poisoning the kid against his father. I'm sure that you're encouraging some of the running away, etc, by making daddy out to be some sort of awful boogey man.
Holly - posted on 01/14/2013
perhaps he bought something cheaper because he couldn't afford the expensive stuff. perhaps the "big ring" on his fiancee is cheap costume jewelry, them getting a place together doesn't mean it is an expensive place... and honestly her ring and his living arrangements are none of you or your daughter's business. it sounds as if your daughter limiting the father's time and your and her badmouthing him is what triggered your grandson's fear. him leaving the child in the infant car seat is not a big deal, i know that when i had my baby in the hospital the only place she would sleep was in her car seat carrier. and some nights when she had an ear infection the only place she would sleep was her swing, as long as i propped her head up to not get a crick in her neck, she was fine... i think it is atrocious that your daughter tried to sever his rights to his child. this makes me SICK! you come here looking to either start trouble or to get sympathy, but you have made me only feel bad for the father and the child... you and your daughter sound HORRIBLE, and honestly i hope that everything backfires and this father gets MORE time with his child, or becomes the primary custodial parent
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