Darkat218 - posted on 09/02/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )
Well here it goes, When I was pregnant my husband would go out late and not come home till 4-5 AM one time he even came home more than 24 hrs later. He confronted me out of no where while he was drunk and accused me of cheating I was so hurt and shocked I asked him where this was coming from. Then I said to him the accuser is usually the guilty one and he freaked out for an hour. THIS is what leads me to believe he cheated on me. I couldn't find any proof though but my gut told me he did... After I confronted him on him avoiding me eventually he started making more of an effort to be around me and be nicer to me. Then my son is born and we are moved into a new place and much happier, and he yet again out of no where over a little fight says he wants to leave me and when someone says all the time they want to leave you I think something is up(he told me he didn't actually want to break up he just has anger issues but I was scared he wanted to go to another woman or something) So I checked his phone and his email. I saw porn on his phone which is not a big deal cause I just had a c-section and we couldn't have sex. But then I look in his email and I see him talking with a woman... Calling her hot and saying he wants to go for coffee. When I told him I found the email at first he denied it but I am not freaking stupid I know what his intentions were when he called her hot and made it sounds like he was single. Anyways he keeps denying his intentions and keeps saying he really just wanted to go for coffee but I don't believe him, and frankly if she was not in Russia and actually lived in our city I know something would have happened. Anyways I kept trying to talk to him about it and the fact I am not only hurt and lost my trust for him but he messed up my self esteem big time. He kept being defensive and not wanting to talk about it (still is) but he has been acting much nicer to me and trying to make it up to me and told me he won't do it again. I had doubts in my mind that he even gave a $hit but yesterday I told him that if we divorce our son is going to want to know why he would do that to both of us and do that to him when he knew he was on his way into our world and why he would jeopardize our relationship before he was even born. He didn't even know what to say at that point (as usual) and just said what he usually says which is "whatever". He goes outside for a smoke and I walk out and I see him pretty much in tears and I saw complete sadness and guilt in his eyes. I was very happy to see this because I had not seen ANY emotion from him the entire time I was trying to work it out...leading me to believe he didn't actually care. But when I saw his eyes he genuinely seemed guilty cause he loves his son so much he realized that he not only betrayed me but his son as well. My question is to every one... Do you think he has really changed? How can I move on? Am I wasting my time? Will he cheat again? I want to know if their are any success stories out there of married couples with children who went through what we went through. For the record we were both really stressed out and both very unhappy during the time he most likely cheated or attempted to. I had my thoughts for sure cause he was not sleeping with me but I didn't act on them. We are very happy now other than the fact my self esteem has been destroyed (pregnancy has not been kind to my body) and other than the fact I am depressed. I do trust he is not doing anything now though cause I am a computer wiz and have been monitoring his email and facebook and he does not have a phone cause he got rid of it to show his commitment to me. Do you think we can be happy or should I just move on? is it worth it?