My Husband committed suicide, how will I go on with my life?

Daniela - posted on 01/18/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I don't know to who talk to, my husband committed suicide in front of me 1 month ago, we had been together for 2 1/2 years we were married for only 2 months,had a beautiful honeymoon, we have a beautiful and healthy 11 month old boy that he adored more than anyone else on the planet, we had an argument, but it was not the first time, usually we were happy and things were going well for us, we also have a 9 year old daughter from my first marriage, he had 2 previous marriages but no previous children, and some stress at work, but it wasn't that bad, things were good, now I'm left all alone dealing with everything, I barely have the strength to do anything, I miss him everyday, he was my soulmate, he made me happy almost everyday, I don't know how to go on without him, he was my support the person I could talk to, go to , now I feel I have lost everything, his family abandoned me, blaming me, I don't have much support from anyone, my whole family is in Sicily, it's so hard.

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Grammieann - posted on 01/23/2016

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I'm so very sorry, Daniela. I lost my dad to suicide more than 30 years ago, and now as an adult I have grown to understand the depth of this loss for my mom. The grief you're describing is normal, and unfortunately, family tensions and estrangement are not uncommon with suicides. :(

Please be assured that time does heal. For my family, our Christian faith helped with the healing and carried us through the tough times. I am glad you and your daughter are in counseling. Stick with it, and know that life will one day feel "normal" again.

If you're a reader, the books Aftershock: Help, Hope and Healing in the Wake of Suicide by David Cox and Grieving a Suicide by Albert Hsu are excellent. A group like GriefShare might help you as well.

Take good care, Daniela. Praying you'll find the strength and comfort you need for yourself and your children. God bless you. Ann

Michelle - posted on 01/18/2016

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It takes time. You will never forget but you will learn how to deal with it better. It's only just happened and you need to take time to grieve.
Is there any way you could move to be closer to your family? Or even go for a month or more? You do need people around you to help when you have really down days. Your children would benefit from having someone else around as well.

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Softlyunspoken000 - posted on 10/16/2016

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Hello..
My name is Ariel and I am 26 years old!! I am a proud mommy to 3 beautiful girls!!
The reason that I joined this site is because I noticed that there are a lot of women who are dealing with their husbands/boyfriends committing suicide!!!!
5 days ago my two youngest daughter's and I walked into our spare bedroom because we couldn't find daddy!! As soon as I opened the door he was right there.. Hanging from the closet door...
In a panick I put my youngest daughter down with her sister and went to open the closet door.. At which point he fell!! He was already gone... So we waited for the ambulance to arrive.. And I was.. And still am absolutely devastated...
We were together for almost 9 years!! And we definitely have been in much much worse conditions than this before!!!! He had Multiple Sclerosis and it was flaring up.. But no more than usual!!!! Everything in life was finally good for us!! We just moved into a new place a month ago.. Now we were saving for a car!!!!
This literally came out of nowhere.....
Not once in the whole 12 years that I've known him have I ever heard him even mention killing himself... NEVER!!!!!

So my youngest keeps asking for her daddy.. And she's young enough yet that she doesn't really know what is going on!!!
But my middle child... She has been asking where her daddy is.. And when he will be coming home!??!? I haven't the slightest idea as to what to say to her?????
She's currently staying with my mother.. And she told my mother that she saw a belt around her daddies neck and that he didn't look right!!!
I'm terrified that she is going to be screwed up from all of this... That's not something a 3 year old should have to go through!!!!

But I really need help...
I need support...
I need advice...

I'm practically all alone.. Dealing with this by myself!!

And to make everything just that much worse...
My boyfriend's mom is telling everyone that I murdered Tim.. And that there is an open murder investigation going on!! She's saying that I was cheating on him.. And this new man and myself killed my boyfriend!!! 😭😒😭
She is refusing to let me be any part of the memorial services..
And she is refusing to let my daughter's and I have any of the ashes... I was going to make them into necklaces!!!!

I knew Tim unlike anyone else has ever known him.. And I know for a fact (I'd bet my life on it) that he would never in a million years leave his kids behind!! Nor would he leave me in such a way that leaves me guessing and driving myself crazy asking "why"??

I don't know how to move forward from here...
I don't know that I can...

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.. I don't have a single person I can talk to about this!!!!
Thank you ladies...

Dove - posted on 01/18/2016

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I'm so sorry for your loss. Loss is hard. Whether it be death, divorce, or other type of loss. It takes time for the pain to 'scab over and scar' (I don't think the pain ever fully goes away, but it DOES become survivable).

Go easy on yourself... give yourself time to grieve. Keep up w/ the counseling and just keep getting up every day and taking care of yourself and your children the best that you can. β™₯ β™₯ β™₯

Daniela - posted on 01/18/2016

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I do, and my daughter goes also, still.... it hurts more that anything I ever had to deal with in my life.

Michelle - posted on 01/18/2016

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You need to go and speak to a grief counsellor. You don't have to go through it alone.

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