Amy - posted on 09/19/2016 ( 8 moms have responded )
Hello mommies. It's nearly 2am and I have been crying tonight. My husband came into my son's life just before he turned 2yo. My son still has a good relationship with his dad (and we do too as well).
Every now and then I discuss to my husband that I think my son wants to call him dad. He's always said he's got his dad and he wants to respect that role which is fair enough.
Last year I gave birth to our own son and I mentioned again that maybe it's better if his stepson calls him dad so the new baby hears it and copies it. I don't want the new baby to get confused. He still didn't want to.
Now that my son is 6yo and with the new baby. As a mother, I can really feel that he wants to call my husband dad. I know it's just a word but I can sense that he is finding himself lost and confused with his role in the family especially now that I'm pregnant with my second child with the husband. At one point my son said to me, "mommy you know I see my stepdad as my father. I love daddy but stepdad is my dad."
So anyway I mentioned it again after a long time and what my husband replied was quite painful to me. He said I AM NOT HIS DAD. I said it's not about the blood that flows in his vein. Why do you need to have that boundary? Then he said it's not fair on the real dad. To be honest I don't think the real sad minds if I discuss it with him. He also wants what's best for my son. And then my husband didn't reply. I said to him you dont even sound like you want to consider it? You could've said if it's ok with real dad why not?
I'm just so surprised after all these years it's like he really still sees him as he's not his. He does blurts out things sometimes emphasizijg that he's not his.