My husband gives flowers, Cake and balloons for his Ex bBrthday, Mother day and valentine day on behalf of his daughter 7 year old

Linda - posted on 09/12/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My husband gives Flowers, Cake and Balloons for his Ex birthday, Mother day and Valentine day on behalf of his daughter 7 year old when she vists. I do not feel its appropiate. His Ex is not married again. His daughter asks 10 things for her mother he will do all 10 things for his ex. He doesnot control her. I gave suggestion let her daughter make some art and crafts or painting so it will me more personlize to her mom and on top of that his daughter loves art and craftand, painting. And I also told him I don't like you giving her Flowers, Cake and balloons for your ex Birthday and and valentine day on behalf of your daughter. I agree on giving mothers day. But not all events. You could let your daughter do something more creative in place. Buy some art and craft stuff and paints etc...



I am not able to agree on this. Because of all this of these issues our adult realationship is ruining. He says he will do what his daughter asks him to do for her mom. He is very stubborn. I feel he is not accepting the facts that he is divorced. Please help!

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Jodi - posted on 09/12/2012

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Why is this bothering you so much? It seems like jealousy to me? He is not understanding how it will impact on your relationship because YOU are the one he is married to, but he is just showing respect for his daughter by doing this. It will only impact your relationship if you let it. Why are you letting it? You refer to it as "all these issues"....is this the only issue? If it is, you REALLY need to chill.

Linda - posted on 09/12/2012

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I feel he is doing excess and toomuch. At least he should put a line at some point. His daughter asked for 2 big flowers bouquets and big cake and ballons. I personally feel he is doing excess. We just got married not even year... we are still blending not adjusting well. At least I would except some mutual understanding between we too and talk about it.. how we can work it out with plans. He is not understanding how this may impact the relationship between me and him. It bothers me a lot.

Jodi - posted on 09/12/2012

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I agree with you that a home made gift from his daughter would be enough, but.......if he and his daughter are happy with the way things are, I say leave it alone. He's just doing it to make his daughter happy. It's not about the ex, it's about his daughter.

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Sherri - posted on 09/12/2012

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He is doing it for his daughter, I don't see the issue here. I don't even know why you feel this is an issue. If you are secure in your relationship with your husband then let go of the petty crap. I think there is more going on here than him buying gifts for his daughter to give to her mother on special occasions. I think you are blaming your relationship failing on this but really there has to be something else. You really need to figure out what it is and work on it before it is too late.

Firebird - posted on 09/12/2012

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Thanks once again, Jodi, for finishing my thoughts so I didn't have to. lol Don't forget Linda, that he's divorced from her for a reason, and he married you for a reason.

Firebird - posted on 09/12/2012

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I get all that and more from my ex, on our daughter's behalf and his. He also gets gifts from our daughter and myself on special occasions. If I see something that he could really use (like a new tool) I'll get it for him just because, and if he sees something that can help me be more organized, he'll grab it for me. No occasion, just because. That's just the kind of post-breakup friendship that we have. This doesn't mean that we haven't accepted the fact that we broke up. It may not be considered normal, but that's just how it is.



We separated 3 years ago, and we get along so much better now that we aren't together anymore. lol If I got married, that would just be something that my new hubby would have to accept. 10 things for one occasion is excessive, yes, but as long as it's not running you into the poor house, it doesn't have to be a huge issue. You might just have to find a way to compromise on this.

Dove - posted on 09/12/2012

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Was he doing these things on behalf of his daughter before you two met and married? Seems to me like if it bothers you so much this should've come up before getting married. I agree with you in that it is excessive, but it's also sweet that he's willing to go all out on behalf of his daughter and still respects her mother.



I'd much rather be divorced to him than the guy I'M divorced too..... lol

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