my husband gives me very hard time

Tazeenbadsha - posted on 07/30/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I got married 2nd time in 2009.my husband has 2 sons 7 & 5.i was 27 at that time.i am from pakistan.i had to stay with my in laws for 10 months with my in laws in my country.they gave me real hard time.my sister in law took her divorce right after out marriage.she stayed with my mother in law & compared me with her all the time.still she does jealous with me.my mother in law is an angry wiman as her kids are.my husband never favored me infront of them except few time just after marriage.now I am in usa.my husband doesn't allow me to do any job.he doesn't allow me to go anywhere out of the house without asking him.he has anger issues that's why he has been expelled from his jobs so many times.he stays angry at home for my cooking,grocery,cleaning,like m scared of making a single mistake in the house.he had a fight with my dad too.my husband told me that I can't meet with my parents anymore.i couldn't when they came for very 1st time to usa.my husband doesn't pay me pocked money.if he ever give me money,he tells me where to spend it.if I spend money which I have over food for home without asking him,he faught with me over it.in every fight he tells me to leave the house,he will give me divorce,I am of no use for him.i asked him so many times for his permission for a job.he said No to me.if you come to my house you will always find it cleaned,cooked food,perfect kids.except my husband's older son has adhd,behavior problems & lieing issues.my husband never allows me to come near his body.he calls it space.i wanted my own child & I told him b4 our marriage that I want ivf.he agreed b4 our marriage.now he doesn't allow me to go to gynaecologists.he doesn't wanna pay for my bills.please help me!

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Tazeenbadsha - posted on 07/31/2015

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You are absolutely right sarah.i just wanna know if anybody can make my husband realized how important it is for me to do a job.he is so stubborn,he won't listen to me about counseling also he isn't gonna pay for it.

Sarah - posted on 07/30/2015

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I understand your culture and your duty to family and to your spouse. There is a difference in running from your problems and leaving a problem that cannot be fixed. Will your husband go to marital counseling? He is also from Pakistan? He married you and promised to give you children, protect , love and support you. He is not fulfilling his obligation to you. What are you to do? Live this way for the rest of your life? If you decide to stay; you cannot be made a prisoner in your home. What will happen if you simply go and get a job or volunteer to get out of the house. Your husband does not own you! You are partners in this life.

Tazeenbadsha - posted on 07/30/2015

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Sarah I know you are right.but running away from your problems is never a solution.in my country it's the biggest sin to leave your husband.also my parents are now old,can't earn good.my youngest & only brother got shot dead last year.my late brother was in medical college 3rd year student.he was too intelligent.he has money & robbers followed him.they shot him at his heart & killed him.i can't give my parents any more sorrows/regrets.

Sarah - posted on 07/30/2015

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You are in an abusive relationship. You can leave and try to find a shelter or if you have any relatives in the US, go to them. If your family is still in Pakistan, call them and ask for help. If they can get you a ticket home, you can get your passport and leave. Leave his kids with him to parent and go.

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