Tara - posted on 12/30/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )
I have recently discovered that my husband has been doing cocaine for over a year now. I am absolutely sick about it. We have been married for 9 years and have 3 children and have a sucessful life together. I found the 'drug stuff' about a month ago. He swore he was done with it. I even had him order drug kits so i could test him when i chose. So the other day i suspected again and asked him to do a test. He went into the bathroom alone and i got suspicious. Turns out he had saved a urine sample from a time previous when he was clean and he was trying to use that sample. He eventually gave a urine sample and it was positive. The level of deceit is sickening to me. I feel like i don't even know him. I am just freaking out because i'm a stay at home mom and the thought of a divorce is giving me a incredible sense of worry and fear. I have told no one. I am so ashamed and i am worried if anyone finds out we will have no friends. It's seems different to say my husband is an alcoholic - easier to accept. I just really needed to tell someone and get it out of my head. He says he will go to his doctor and drug rehab next week. We'll see. Has anyone ever gone through this? I can't believe how scary this is. I feel like my life is falling apart - and i'm worried for my sweet little kids.