Earroyo1980 - posted on 01/05/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )
Hi Ladies, i need some advice. My husband and I just got married in October. We've been having issues since before we married but I was hoping we could work through it because it has been a stressful year for us. First off I want to say he is a great father. When it comes to us it seems we only have a great intimate relationship.
I'm a working mom with two preschool age boys full timetime and his preschool age boy part time. It's a busy home. In addition I work 86hrs every two weeks on a 24 hr rotation with mandatory overtime. I also run my home. My husband works the same but less overtime. I do all the cleaning, all the laundry, all the cooking (once in a while he does), all the shopping, manage all our finances and still I try to let him know how much I love him by making him feel special. I don't get the same in return and I've about had it.
This weekends events:
My husband made breakfast for him and the boys at the time I got home from work and never made anything for me. We went out this weekend and went to eat with the boys. While he was getting condiments I took one of the boys potty. I came back, our food was ready and while I handed out the ketchup and napkins I realized he only grabbed for the boys not me. I was hurt but got my stuff myself. I had explained to him that it is hurtful but it doesn't seem to matter. Then on our way home he stopped at McDonald's for coffee. The boys said they were hungry so I asked him to get them all cheeseburgers and an Ice water for me. He came back with everything except my water and when I asked he shrugged his shoulders and began driving off. I had nothing to drink for my 3hr ride home. At this point I had a long time to think about how he would feel if I did nothing for him. I didn't argue I just stopped talking to him. I came home did all the laundry except his. I did not unpack his toiletries and i won't even look at him. He hasn't noticed anything other than I'm not talking to him. He knows why but he wants to stand his ground. Will he notice if I do nothing for him? He tried to hug me but I refused to let him touch me. This is how he fixes things. He makes love to me because he knows that I'll take any attention from him then I go back to doing everything for him. Not this time. Am I wrong? I've talked to him several times about how he should help in the house not just with the kids. I tell him he should be appreciative and show me he cares about me and not sex. I love him so much and wish i didn't need help around the house but I do. I work so much and still have kids to care for. We need my income, i bring home more. I don't know what to do but it's hurting me to neglect him and ignore him. Any advise would help.