Brandi - posted on 09/18/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )
I have been married to my husband for 3 1/2 years now. We've known each other for 11 years. Growing up he was my best friend...we never went to the same school but met through mutual friends. In high school we ended up at the same school and within 3 weeks his circle of friends took him down the wrong path and we didn't speak for about 2 years...during that time he went to juvi for marijuana sales. I thought we'd never talk again until he found out from a friend that my mother had passed away (she always did like him growing up). It was then he contacted me again. We talked a bit but I was involved with someone else whom he didn't agree with. Thus causing him to begin not speaking with me again...leading him down the wrong path and eventually landing him in county jail for burglary. Burglary was his way to get money fast...I'm guessing for his addictions that when I was younger I was unaware of due to our lack of relationship. When he was released from county he contacted me again & we've been together ever since (stupid me right for letting him into my life knowing his past???) I can't help it...I've loved him since we were kids and my heart won't let me let go. Well a year after we got together he ended up getting caught up and going to prison for burglary. When he was arrested and charged we were expecting our 1st child & rushed and got married (again stupid me right???) so that it would be easier for baby & I to visit him while incarcerated. He was in prison for 2 years leaving me to birth & raise our daughter alone...He came home about a year ago and has done everything right as far as getting a job...but he slowly started to show signs of heading back down the path so to speak. He began "ditching out" on me & his daughter to hang out with friends. He's a huge pot smoker and nothing I say or do can stop him from doing it...we recently moved out from his moms house & got our own apt. but things have only gotten worse. Constantly leaving his daughter & I alone and never being around. He works and pays for bills but any extra money goes for him to hang out rather then us ever doing anything as a family. He recently started using harder drugs (my guess is meth or crack) and after 2 nights of him not coming home at all I confronted him...this has ended poorly for me as he was on a come down and kicked me out claiming to not want to be with me anymore. That he can't stand me and he is no longer in love with me. My daughter hasn't seen her father in approx 5 days now and won't even say the word dad. Her mannerisms have changed...you can tell my 2 1/2 year old is depressed and on top of it all...I'm 3 mos pregnant with our 2nd child (birth control fail) My heart won't allow me to let go. I just want to help him & I want him to be the person I fell in love with all those years ago...I'm so lost and don't know what to do. I have no one to talk to this about and am looking for some kind of support I guess...idk...