My husband is an addict and wants me to leave.

Brandi - posted on 09/18/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

2

0

0

I have been married to my husband for 3 1/2 years now. We've known each other for 11 years. Growing up he was my best friend...we never went to the same school but met through mutual friends. In high school we ended up at the same school and within 3 weeks his circle of friends took him down the wrong path and we didn't speak for about 2 years...during that time he went to juvi for marijuana sales. I thought we'd never talk again until he found out from a friend that my mother had passed away (she always did like him growing up). It was then he contacted me again. We talked a bit but I was involved with someone else whom he didn't agree with. Thus causing him to begin not speaking with me again...leading him down the wrong path and eventually landing him in county jail for burglary. Burglary was his way to get money fast...I'm guessing for his addictions that when I was younger I was unaware of due to our lack of relationship. When he was released from county he contacted me again & we've been together ever since (stupid me right for letting him into my life knowing his past???) I can't help it...I've loved him since we were kids and my heart won't let me let go. Well a year after we got together he ended up getting caught up and going to prison for burglary. When he was arrested and charged we were expecting our 1st child & rushed and got married (again stupid me right???) so that it would be easier for baby & I to visit him while incarcerated. He was in prison for 2 years leaving me to birth & raise our daughter alone...He came home about a year ago and has done everything right as far as getting a job...but he slowly started to show signs of heading back down the path so to speak. He began "ditching out" on me & his daughter to hang out with friends. He's a huge pot smoker and nothing I say or do can stop him from doing it...we recently moved out from his moms house & got our own apt. but things have only gotten worse. Constantly leaving his daughter & I alone and never being around. He works and pays for bills but any extra money goes for him to hang out rather then us ever doing anything as a family. He recently started using harder drugs (my guess is meth or crack) and after 2 nights of him not coming home at all I confronted him...this has ended poorly for me as he was on a come down and kicked me out claiming to not want to be with me anymore. That he can't stand me and he is no longer in love with me. My daughter hasn't seen her father in approx 5 days now and won't even say the word dad. Her mannerisms have changed...you can tell my 2 1/2 year old is depressed and on top of it all...I'm 3 mos pregnant with our 2nd child (birth control fail) My heart won't allow me to let go. I just want to help him & I want him to be the person I fell in love with all those years ago...I'm so lost and don't know what to do. I have no one to talk to this about and am looking for some kind of support I guess...idk...

6 Comments

View replies by

Maria - posted on 09/18/2012

8

0

0

Dear, i can understand your love for him,ur heart would never let u go away from him, but it is the time to think about the 3 of u! yourself, your darling Daughter and of course your new guest. Stop expecting from him. if you really want, try any rehab for him, but the bottom line is that think with your mind, not emotions or heart. believe me dear, its always the heart which tells us to believe what you always fascinate, and takes you away from REALITY. so be practical, the reality is that he might be good, and might be loving as per your statements, but if he was so much caring, he would have never thought about going back to the dark path. Your daughter doesn't deserve to be with a person who loves her 20% and ignores her for the rest of the time.Take your daughter out of this mucky environment, where she would eventually learn bad things, she needs to be ina healthy place, with no nagging, and tension. I can understand that it will be difficult for u, but crying now for sometime is better than crying later forever......Use yor Mind..

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/18/2012

21,273

9

3058

You can't save him. He can only save himself. You saying you don't want to give up on him, and save him, well what about your daughter? he is not a great dad if he is on drugs and leaving you guys. Just like you cannot save him, we cannot save someone who doesn't want to be saved. Do waht is best for you and your daughter. Good luck!

User - posted on 09/18/2012

1

0

0

In my head I tell myself being with him is a mistake...but my heart just knows that I love him and that for some reason I can't give up on him. Like I want to save him. I try so hard to talk to him and get him to realize what hes doing to our family & our daughter...but he calls it nagging :/ I just want him to be the best dad I know he can be. When he was incarcerated and clean he showed us so much love && I couldn't wait for that person to come home to us...but he didn't :( When he shows he cares it melts my heart and shows me why I love him in the first place. He's a GREAT dad when he is actually playing the part...but 80% of the time or more hes not. It breaks my heart to even think about giving up on us, our family, & our love...

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/18/2012

21,273

9

3058

Leave him. No matter what you do or say will not change him. He needs to make that choice on his own. In the meantime, you are raising your child in terrible circumstances, and is going to teach her the wrong way to love someone and to have a relationship. She deserves more than this, and so do you. Run for the hills.

Vicki - posted on 09/18/2012

380

0

175

My suggestion is you help yourself and your daughter! Let him help himself! You admitted that you made a mistake getting with him and marrying him, very interesting that you knew that but did it anyway.....you are now in a position where you have the opourtunity to do something about it once again, my vote is leave him and dont go back until he is 100% clean and agree to councelling

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms