My husband is paying child supprt for 2 kids and has joint custody

Antriana - posted on 11/09/2016 ( 22 moms have responded )

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I am a wife to a man who has 2 kids, 2 different baby mothers and a joint custody order for one child. I have been very supportive through the process but sometimes, it gets harder than other. Is there any married woman and woman in a relationship and there significant other is paying child support and has a joint custody order? How do you guys support your man and not crack under pressure in the situation?

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Michelle - posted on 11/10/2016

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Having the child week about is equal time. Why do you say it isn't? If the child is with him for a week and then with the Mother a week, it's equal time.
What are the court orders?
I'm in Australia as well and the amount of child support that is to be paid is worked out on income and how many children. Also the amount of time the child is with each parent. If he is having equal time with the 1yo then the support should be less than the 6yo.
I agree with Jodi, you will have to get used to it as it will be ongoing for at least the next 17 years.

Jodi - posted on 11/10/2016

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I live in Australia.

But it sounds like, if there is a 1 year old, you and your husband haven't been together very long and that maybe you didn't really think this issue through thoroughly before you committed to the relationship, or at least, didn't give it enough time to really understand what you were getting into.

The fact is, when you marry someone who has children, there is always going to be a financial commitment to them until they are at least 18. And there are always going to be negotiations with exes around custody/visitation - with these there may sometimes be drama, or it may go smoothly. But over the course of a child's life, these arrangements will undergo change.

I guess I understood how it was a lot easier when marrying a man with 2 children because I also had a child from a previous relationship, so I knew what to really expect. Sure, sometimes it is frustrating, but it is reality and you just have to move forward.

Jodi - posted on 11/10/2016

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My husband pays child support for his son. I agree it is hard sometimes, financially, but it is an obligation for the child. That child deserves financial support from both parents. I knew what I was getting into. We just juggle it and budget for it like any other bill.

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Michelle - posted on 11/17/2016

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I don't know where you live but in Australia he can pay directly to CSA and they will pass on the payments.
Or like Ev said, he should discuss it with his lawyer. There are ways to do it, it may just take a bit more affort.
Like I asked earlier, how long ago did they split?

Ev - posted on 11/17/2016

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That is an excuse. He calls his lawyer to check into this and get the information he needs and also if she is holding the child from him that is parental alienation.

Antriana - posted on 11/17/2016

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The mom has blocked him so he cant call her for his child's needs. She blocked him from phone calls, text messages and social media and he as a man fought for joint custody. He is more than willing to provide but how can he do so if he is blocked and cant get a hold of her? Just saying.

Jodi - posted on 11/16/2016

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Child support is not like a rent payment. Whether he gets to see the child or not, he is still obligated to provide for support. A real man wouldn't wait until he was ORDERED to do so to provide that support. But anyway.......

Michelle - posted on 11/16/2016

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He could have been paying some money to the Mother for his child before the order starts. Usually a court order is effective from the date the judge rules.
How long ago did they split?

Antriana - posted on 11/16/2016

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Well the joint custody agreement him and mom came up with starts on Dec, 2, 2016. That is what the judge decided. In Illinois, the child support starts when he starts to get the child.

Jodi - posted on 11/16/2016

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I'm wondering why he is waiting until December to start financially supporting the child he helped to bring into this world. He shouldn't need "orders" to have to do that before the order takes effect. He should view it as part of his ongoing responsibility.

Honestly, he sounds like a real winner.

Michelle - posted on 11/16/2016

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Both child support cases are separate since you have said the children are with 2 different Mothers.
Why didn't he sort out child support when they broke up?
Can I suggest you read what you originally wrote and see why we are very confused over what you are telling us.

Ev - posted on 11/15/2016

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Antriana--Are both kids with the same mother? If not then the child support will be based on both kids with respective mothers.

Antriana - posted on 11/15/2016

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Michelle,

He is currently paying child support for the 6 year old. He will start paying child support for his 1 year old in December because of the joint custody agreement. Would it be smart to just add his second child to the active child support order?

Michelle - posted on 11/15/2016

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But you have said he already is paying child support.
You keep changing what you are telling us.

Antriana - posted on 11/14/2016

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He will only have his child every other weekend (with the custody order) so the child support wont be equal. Would it be smart if he adds himself onto child support before the court date. Which is Nov 28?

Antriana - posted on 11/10/2016

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I married him knowing what I was getting myself into, but the amount of drama has risen with the child's parents which I wasn't used to. I think im more so worried about how our future may turn out because of the child support order for Two kids in Illinois.

Antriana - posted on 11/10/2016

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He has a six year old who he is paying child support for and he has a 1 year old who he has the joint custody order for as well as paying child support. He only gets the 1 year old every other week. There is no equal amount of time. He has the child every other week.

Michelle - posted on 11/10/2016

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Even with shared care they work out child support as if each parent is paying it to each other. It means that the parent with the higher income pays the difference of the child support that is calculated on income.
Like the others said, you knew that he had obligations before you married him and it's great that he is paying child support.
So you have said joint custody, do you mean shared care where each parent has the child an equal amount of time?

Ev - posted on 11/09/2016

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You knew what was what going into this...he has the obligation and he has to attend it. If you are not sure you can handle this why did you marry this man?

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