Sarah - posted on 03/15/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )
My last few posts have been about my husband. Almost two weeks ago he was 302, this past friday he was discharged. My husband was in there for addiction to pain meds prescribed by the VA, and alcohol. He has done drugs in the past, but stopped. I knew when he got out on Friday that it was going to take some time to get him back on his feet. For years my husband was treated for bipolar...but when they reevaluated him...he thought he had psychosis. So he went through detox...and started new medications. He promised his mother that he would stay clean....and he promised me we would get our marriage back on track, because dealing with these issues has put a strain on us.Plus he quite his job two weeks ago. I forgot to mention we have a 7 month old daughter.
On Friday I picked him up, I was so happy to see him. And he couldn't wait to get home. We ordered pizza that night...and just hung out around the house. Our daughter had a really tough time sleeping so at 1 am we made a trip up to the grocery store for some medication...she's teething. Saturday rolls around...followed by another good day. He was still having some withdrawal issues, so he slept a lot. Which I was trying to be supportive over. Later that day we went on a walk. He started exercising etc. Things seemed to be heading in the right direction. Until Sunday...
Today was one of the hardest days of my life.....our day started out fine. My husband started to exercise....eat more...we went to the grocery store...made dinner....joked around...it started to remind me of the good ole' days. Until, he pulled the rug completely from under me. My parents are in Hawaii...and I receive a phone call from my mom...she told me that my husband called my brothers girlfriend asking where he could but a certain drug. Even though they don't do them. My brother became irate. I of course confronted my husband....and my goodness I was hoping he was going to say it was really bad joke. but that was not the case.
My husband told me that he is dying inside...without the outside drugs. That he can't function without them and he needs them. He knows I don't want them around the baby. I can't put blinders on and pretend it does not exist. So, tonight my husband left me and our daughter. He is going back down to NC where his mom lives. He is hoping to get into some sort of job like dry walling. And get better....which means in his terms get better by doing drugs.
My husband and I have been married for almost a year. We dated for two years. I knew he was bipolar when we were dating...but I never knew of all the other mental issues he had. He admitted to me several times over the course of two weeks that he wishes he was more upfront with me about his mental issues.
I love my husband...but I am so angry with him. I know he is not in the right frame of mind, but I can't help feel the way I feel. I'm 26 years old...no job...by the end of march no more health insurance....my husband is an addict to alcohol..drugs..and pills.....and no other source of income right now...and I have a 7 month old daughter to take care of.
There is only one thing I know for sure...is that I am going to be the best mom I know to be. I love my daughter more than anyone or anything in the entire world. And I pray to god that my husband gets the help he needs and deserves. I hope his mom will be able to help him, because I was not able to.